I don't know what to do. I've been with my husband for more than a decade and we've always had a decent sex life. It's never been intense or mind-blowing, but it was always good. Even at the beginning we probably had sex once a week at most. After kids our sex life almost disappeared for a while because we were both so tired and stressed, but it improved last year. We were back to sex about once a week and it was pretty good, even though he's never been very physically affectionate outside of the bedroom (despite repeated requests from me). And then, all of a sudden, our sex lives took a nosedive this year. The first time we had sex this year I aroused him but then he didn't want to "take his turn" arousing me. After I just laid there, motionless (waiting for him to make a move after I had done a lot for him), he finally made a few half-hearted motions before I gave up and just initiated actual sex. I was crying afterwards out of humiliation. When he asked me why I told him it was because it seemed like he didn't want to touch me. All he said was "Are you saying I don't love you?" before storming out of the bedroom in anger. We didn't have sex for two months, until we had a fight and worked out (on a superficial level) some of our issues. That make-up sex was pretty good but, after that, it was almost two more months before we had sex again. Once again, I initiated and began arousing him. He became very aroused and asked if I was ready to have sex (he had not touched me at all at this point). When I said no, he performed some half-hearted foreplay on me but lost any sign of physical arousal when doing so (it was like he had jumped in an ice bath). Once I aroused him a second time we were able to have sex, but that was the last time I was willing to put myself through that humiliation. Since then he hasn't initiated sex and doesn't even want to touch me, besides a peck on the lips when we kiss goodnight. At the same time, however, he keeps telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me, which only upsets me more because his actions don't line up with those words at all. I don't know what to think, and I hate that I now feel like I am completely unattractive just because he is clearly repulsed by my body. Please help!
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