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My husband is reluctant to have sex and I'm trying very hard not to have an affair.

By February 5, 2010 - 3:51pm
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I've been with my partner for 8 years. For the first 6 month of our relationship we had sex all the time and it was great. Then he started refusing, saying he just wasn't interested, or tired, or more interested in watching TV. I found it frustrating but I really love him so I got used to it and just tried to work out how to get him to sleep with me occasionally. Sometimes it'd be bearable/ok and sometimes very dry but we have a great partnership and that matters more to me.

A couple of years ago we got married because I really feel that he's the one for me. However, a couple of months ago I met somebody I occasionally work with and we kind of fancy each other. There's been a bit of flirting and before xmas we kissed a couple of times. I didn't feel guilty at all as my husband has rejected me so many times and I guess I'm a little angry with him for paying me no attention when he knows it matters to me.

I now have quite a crush on the other guy and it's so tempting to do something with him again even though we've more or less decided that we should be just friends as anything else is wrong. But it's so hard when my husband is reluctant to sleep with me! He is affectionate but just isn't fussed about sex (and I want sex badly). I've tried talking to him so many times (about him and me, not about kissing anybody else, I have no plans on telling him that as I don't want to hurt him)

It's just confusing. I never thought I'd be interested in kissing anybody else, I had lots of different partners before I met my husband and thougth I was over all that.

My husband is having a stressful time with work so I know his interest in sex isn't likely to change anytime soon. I've really really tried to help him with his work situation but to no avail. I think he needs to sort himself out a bit as a person, find something he really likes to do and pursue it and if he did that maybe he would feel better about himself and get his mojo back but I don't know how to fix him.

I'm a bit at a loss for what to do so any advice greatly appreciated.

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