I am 40 year old woman divorced for 10 years and married again few months back. We both were married before and have kids by previous marriage. I love my husband very much. I am told by my friends and others that I am pretty and look 10 years younger to my age. I have slightly protruding jaw but it never been a show stopper and I didnt care much about it. But unfortunately my husband doesnt feel the same. He likes evrything to be perfect and he found my face not so attractive because of my jawline and so he never thought I was good looking. He is a handsome guy and he is very much aware of that. He feels if not for the kids and the situation he would have found someone better. He said he married me because I am a good woman and have other qualities he is looking for in a woman. I felt the blow on the first night when he looked so depressed and sad after having sex with me. I know after my pregnancy my breasts are sagging and I have stretch marks and belly fat(not so much to show from the outside)> he also said about the way I responded to sex was disappointing and I seriously dont understand what that is and he never tells me that even if I ask him. We used to have sex twice or thrice a week but I can see that he just does it for the sake of it.He also tells me I dont know how to seduce him. I would love to do that but when I know from the first day he doesnt like my looks how can i get the confidence or drive to seduce him? I have been raised in a conservative family, I love to have sex. I also noticed that he used to have the habit of viewing porn before wedding. I am moderately successful workwise been confident about myself and used to getting compliments even to this day from others. This makes me feel so desperate. He tries hard to hide his real feelings and tries to be very kind and nice to me. But I can see that he is not able to love me. The worst part is he had a very loving life with his ex until she cheated on him and left for another man after 10 years of marriage. He is not able to get over the feelings with her though he tells me he doesnt like her anymore. I can see that it isnt true because of the way he gets emotional about what happened and I see no hatred for her in him even after the way she hurt or insulted him. When he sees his kids suffering by shuttling between houses I feel he still thinks about why his marriage broke than getting to be happy with his new life. I have spoken openly about my feelings to him but its only made us distant. He never bothered to remove her pictures and I run into them very often. I saw a picture of theirs that he still keeps in his box where he stores his important files. It hurts me so much.We dont have kids by this marriage and he doesnt say if he wants to.I totally lost my confidence in my looks and relationship. I am so desperate, dont know how to handle this, dont have anyone to talk to. Please help me understand what to do. I know its a long mail but I need some advice desperately.
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