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Still single at 43, but hoping could have baby in the future

By September 12, 2010 - 3:52am
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Hi... I'm 43 now, still single, never been married. Actually I almost did, but fortunately found just in time that my Fiancee was a really bad person..I live in Asia where people consider it odd being single at may age. I'm half Asian and half Czech so I don't think to much about what people say.
I don't have a boyfriend right now, but recently the thought of "Biological Clock Ticking" has been bugging me since I still want to have a baby someday.
My periods are normal, never miss even once since my puberty, and I came from very fertile family. My mom gave birth to my younger sister at 44.

Should I be stressed out about this? I don't want to rush into marriage just for the sake of having baby.. and I'm still looking for "Mr. Right".
Just recently I started practicing The Law of attraction in order to find my future husband, and get the right one this time..LOL.
Is it too risky planning to have my first baby at my age? Of course I have to get married first. At least could you give me any advice or information about this matter..I would really appreciate it.

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EmpowHER Guest

I'm 43 and seriously considering dumping my partner of four years as I am tired of being shouted at when I ask about specifics to do with our finances. If you want children have them with IVF, but don't sit around waiting for someone else to give you permission to pursue what you want in life! You'll only wake up one day feeling you've wasted your life worrying what others think. Get your work life sorted and be financially as comfortable as you can be, and the rest will come. Also, don't watch crappy totally unrealistic romcoms and don't read beauty magazines, or you definately will feel desperate and depressed!

December 7, 2011 - 3:32pm

Hi Lianka,
Thanks for your question! Your question is part opinion and part medical, so you may receive quite a few responses regarding differing "opinions" on having a baby in your mid-40s. Many women are having babies while in their 40s, and with good gynecological care and medical screening/tests, you can lessen help your chances of having a baby with severe birth defects. That is the real question here---what are the chances of having a baby that is not healthy?

As you know, a pregnancy is considered "high risk" on age alone after a women reaches the ripe old age of 35 (said tongue-in-cheek). Seriously, though, the more advanced maternal age, the higher chances of birth defects, pregnancy and other complications. If you would like to know more about these risks, March of Dimes is a great resource.

The other side of your question is in regards to "opinion"; when is a women "too old" to have a child? Men are able to have babies at much older ages, so are we discussing a parent's ability to parent a child? Are you considering adoption, or having a baby without being married?

It is interesting to hear that your mom had your little sister when she was 44 years of age. You have first-hand experience of the familial impacts of having a mom of "advanced" maternal age. What did you see as the positive and negative aspects?

September 12, 2010 - 6:07am
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