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trying for our second child but its been a year and nothing!!

By March 23, 2010 - 12:05pm
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i have a 2 1/2 yr old son from a different guy but my fiance has always been here for him and is his only father figure. Watching our boy grow we now more than ever want another baby. About 6 months ago i had got a pap and it came back that i had ASC-US, i was high risk for HSV (dnt get me wrong i had only been with him and my sons biological father and it scared me because i thought it was an STD but found out it ran through my moms side and it wasnt the bad STD kind) and had i cervical dysplaysia...but with time it all went away :) i had asked the doctor and he said i would be fine to have children but its been 6 months after all that and no pregnancy :( i keep track of my ovulation period and try on the right days. i dont get down about it though it is very disappointing we just hope to get pregnant within this month or 2! i eat right he stopped smoking and cut back on alcohol, but those red bulls :/ he has to stop with those..i mean we are very determined to get pregnant. it just seems likes its been forever and i want to hurry this process up..any advice??

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Hi vmarie,

Thank you for your post and welcome to EmpowHer. ASC-US is actually a very common mildly abnormal finding in a pap smear that can come as a result of a minor infection or cervical inflammation. I am assuming that since you received this result 6 months ago you have gone back for a follow-up and everything is now in order?

Your doctor is right, you should not have a problem conceiving because of this. Has it been a year that you've been actively trying? Or 6 months? If it has been a year, maybe it's time to consider a fertility specialist to test you and your significant other. I know you may think that because you already have a son that it is not likely you have infertility issues but unfortunately we are women and as we age our egg count decreases therefore making it harder and harder to conceive. Remember, just because it may be a little harder now than it was 3 years ago, doesn't make it impossible.

Here's what I would do: Stop thinking about conceiving-- just enjoy the sex. Too many times the issue with getting pregnant is that pregnancy is all we have on the brain and it becomes the only reason why we have sex. The passion, love, intimacy is all gone all because we just want to make a baby-- and then our good old friend stress kicks in.
Between the time your period is over and your next period is due enjoy an endless amount of passionate and adventurous sex. Forget the calendar, forget the peak days, forget the condom and the birth control pills.

Try this method for a couple of months. If you find yourself getting caught up in the stress of getting pregnant again go see your doctor and have a thorough chat about conceiving and other possibilities for you.

Good Luck!

March 23, 2010 - 12:53pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

thank you and i totally agree about enjoying and having passionate and adventurous sex, i mean i would be ecstatic to become pregnant asap, but when its suppose to happen it will . and its been a year since we've been trying. i agree that stress will kick in if becoming pregnant is all thats on my mind but, its only when its around the time im suppose to be getting my period do i constantly think about being pregnant...but thats because im hoping i dont start!

honestly i am just going to enjoy sex ( even though i already do) but without the mission of trying to conceive. it will happen and hopefully sooner rather than later!

thank you for ur advice.

March 23, 2010 - 2:30pm
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