My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year. He is 32, I am 25. He's my first (and only) lover, but he's been with a couple (including a wife, divorced now, obviously) before me. At the beginning, my sex life was great. I appeared to turn him on and he appeared to be willing. I'll admit to still wanting it more than him--but this was new-found fun for me--while a little old hat for him. But I was completely satisfied with our sex life.
Fast forward a few months--and when I say a few...I mean, like 3. I think I've lost my sex life and would love to know where it went.
We had sex 3 times in June. And it's going on a month and we've had sex for approximately 1 minute. I don't mean to sound like I'm counting...but it's not so hard, as you can see. I attempt to turn him on, maybe 3 times a week now, hoping to "get lucky." I get rejected 95% of the time. Actually, unless he initiates something, nothing ever happens.
When I attempt to turn him on, he tells me he's not in the mood, or it's too late, or he's too tired, or his stomach hurts, or the grass wasn't green enough, or the sun wasn't hot enough, or his fingernails didn't grow, or the food wasn't good, or he forgot to check his email, etc...(but mainly the first 4, obviously using a bit of sarcasm to get over my rejections)...When I ask what's up with the not having sex, he'll make a comment like "Well, I was in the mood last night, but didn't think you were."
So in any case, a few miscommunications here and there do contribute to it all. We attempt to talk about it, but he ends up defensively (though not sincerely) apologizing for it and I end up feeling rotten because I'm unhappy with our sex life and feel like a little bit of a s!^# because I want to have sex.
Now, he's probably got a lot working against him...he's on anti-depressants and HBP meds, he's overweight by a lot (which I'd love to see him do something about--but it's another thing he's not too cracked up to do).
What should I do?
Sorry it's so long! Yikes! Apparently I needed to talk to someone about this!!
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