Why does my boyfriend have anti-sex phases?

Well we are on a sort of break now. I thought I should put it out there. It hurts but I get it. The origional problem is no longer an issue. Were done with the sexual stuff. I have hope that we will end up back together but I'm just going withthe flow for now.

Sounds pretty ideal from what you described! :)
I always say, that at the end of the day, the person who sleeps in the bed you sleep in... is the only one who should really have a voice in your choices.

Right now, that is you alone, so you do what you feel is best for you! In the end ~ if it was a good choice, you'll be glad that no one had the opportunity to detour it. If it turns out to be a bad choice, you can't blame it on anyone and you can look at it and figure out... "ok, what do I take from this situation? Where are my faults in it? What did I learn about the kind of man I DO or DO NOT want?"
It's crucial to ask those questions to yourself after any failed attempt at love and romance! I didn't used to do it... but found that after I put it into practice, it helped me take a step up in choice.
:-)

Just a little side note ~ tidbit~ incase for some reason you ever need it or one of your buddies.

Exactly. Oh I hope we do though. I got so lucky. We both get along with each others families. Our families are actually friends now. We love each others friends. He and my dad like love each other. He's great with kids AND (after all of this, I found out that) he doesn't want to have sex because he cares too much about me and doesn't want to hurt me. I'm not going to say he's perfect. But he sure is perfect for me :)

So he was the catalyst to change. That's good... people are brought into your life for one reason or another. That's great! Glad to hear you are accepting credit for your efforts!! Important to do....

Just remember to be YOU in the relationship... you aren't one... you're two people. Make sure to remember what his purpose for entering your life was meant to bring. Then if you stay together, GREAT! But if not, he gave you a step up and you can always be grateful to God for sending that to you!

Right?

Thanks! Yeah basically he is my go-to guy when I'm bored or whatever and he's my best friend. We like being around one another and it's not negative whatsoever. I do take credit for my changes although it took a new guy and a therapist to help haha. But yeah I changed myself, he just opened my eyes to how I really was before.

Sorry, should have proofed that... I meant he WASN'T mean persay and... damaging has a G not and E. :)

That's wonderful that he helped create a catalyst for you to change. Take credit for your efforts... ok?
I had a boyfriend once that I used to credit my change in lifestyle and the improvement of it overall. So many things happened and I realized one day... when thinking about it. People don't make choices that they aren't actively choosing and if they don't want to make a change, it inevitably will not happen!!

I now know that he provided the open door but I had to walk through it and actively make the conscious decision to put those changes into play... "I" had to do the work! So as much as he was influential in providing you the support and/or tools to make the change. YOU DID IT!! ok...
I tell you this because you must take credit for your hard work, otherwise you end up allowing those changes to put you in the position of being in debit to someone out of gratefulness. Does that make sense?
I know it sounds like a lecture but honestly... I am teaching you a lesson I had to learn. Not in your case, but in mine... it had me stay with him when I should have left. He was MEAN persay, but more emotionally damagine... the roller coaster relationship. Great, bad, good, horrible... up and down and up and down.
So while you guys are great, like I said, you never know what the future holds and you have to believe in you so you can be strong even if you did have to be alone.

Hope that all makes sense...

Yeah I have really turned my life around, and alot of that is thanks to him. I am a really social person though which is why I really wish I could take back that year of my life. But I've got one more year of this madness and who knows if I'll have the same friends as last year or what...it always changes... I understand the need to be an individual, which I am. My boyfriend and I are very different and I guess that can only be a good thing, as it has for two years now!

Yea I hear ya... Sounds like you made some good solid changes. Everyone has had some things they had to wash away to take a step up! Good for you!!

Well, if when you do go to college, I am sure some opportunities will open for you to meet people. So be open to that... it's important that you are an individual. I don't believe in... 2 people becoming one! You are two separate people and you are choosing to be in a relationship, merging your two lives.... or at least that is how I see it!
That way, God forbid the relationship has to end for some reason. You are able to snap back in a more healthy way... understand?

Sorry you had a rough time back then... Keep making good choices! You will have life lessons to learn all the way through, it is what makes you wise!

Haha yeah. I wish I could do that. I just don't have very reliable friends. If I ever want to make plans with them it's always either way in advance or last minute and sometimes I feel like they don't care enough to want to hang out with me. I had a period a few years ago where I pretty much lost all my friends because of some personal changes I was making and I ended up meeting my current boyfriend who pretty much lead ne back on track. So basically what I'm trying to say is that I have struggled with finding a solid group of girlfriends who I can rely on all the time (except for these two girls that I love but are somewhat of negative influences...) I don't know. I just have trouble doing that sort of thing...I feel like I don't have any best best friends other than my boyfriend and the two negative girls. I have alot of friends though, don't get me wrong, they are just not as close and nit people I feel I could call up just any time...I don't really know. I'm just ready to go to college so I can have a clean slate...