why does my husband of 25 yrs only want to have oral sex on me and gets off in me hurting him spanking hitting his penis using string etc no intercourse in 19 yrs

Hi Anon,

Thank you for choosing to share your question with the EmpowHER community! I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with intimacy in your marriage. This seems to be going on for many, many years!!! I am guessing that in 19 years, you have already asked him why there was a lack of intercourse. What has he explained to you about his lack of interest in sex and just wanting to do other things?

I don't know his reasoning, only he can tell you that as every person's sexual preference is individualized. How are you feeling about all of this? You need to let him know how you feel. Have you attended marriage counseling before?

At any rate, attending a few marriage counseling sessions would do your marriage good, even if just improving communication and understanding of each other.

Here is a link to similar questions within the community. Hope it helps. https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-husband-want-have-sex-me

Anon, I wish you and your husband much luck. Both people in the marriage need to be satisfied and the best place to start is communicating about it.

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Best,

Kristin