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Why doesn't my boyfriend of 5yrs wants to sleep in same bed with me and we go weeks sometime without him wanting to have sex with me?

By May 19, 2011 - 1:21pm
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We dont usually sleep together because of diff reasons but lately we been trying to sleep together more and all of sudden one night he decided to sleep or "fall asleep" on the couch. What is the problem? He always show me affection so i dont know what could be the problem other than cheating

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EmpowHER Guest

I am having the same problem with my boyfriend of 4 years. Most nights he just won't come to bed, or when he does, often I wake up and he's not there. On occasion he will sleep the whole night through. I doubt he is cheating, it doesn't seem like that's the issue. I feel like he may just be getting sick of me. Or it could be as simple as the bed makes his back hurt and the couch gives him more support. This has been going on for the past few months and whenever I ask he says something about the bed. Last night this happened and I asked and he said he was just "done sleeping in the bed". Whatever this is, I've talked to a few people about it, is not a good sign. Our relationship is healthy otherwise, we are attracted to each other, do things together, etc. but we are having financial issues so perhaps the stress from that has an effect on all this. This post was done five years ago so I hope everything has worked out!

June 12, 2016 - 11:36am

Have you talked with your boyfriend about this problem? I can understand that the change in his show of affection toward you and choosing to sleep on the couch would raise the suspicion of cheating. But, before you jump to conclusions, unless of course, you have concrete evidence of infidelity, try having an open and honest conversation with him. Try to start the conversation at a time that is good for both of you. By this, I mean when there are no distractions (turn off the TV), there is time(not before heading out for work or just before going to bed( and most importantly and probably the hardest, try to keep your emotions in check. Becoming emotional or confrontational will be counter-productive. Good luck in getting to the root of the issue.

May 19, 2011 - 5:36pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Thanks for the advice Maryann. But he never wants to talk about anything and when i try to discuss it or bring it up to him, he just avoids it and get aggravated then says that im just being crazy.

May 19, 2011 - 4:46pm
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