Why is he sexually dissatisfied?

I think that your advice is good. However, I do not think he is being graded on his performance at all. He has said many times how great he is at sex, and implied that this can't be his fault. I think his attitude of blame is another issue. He says it's not his fault, but implies that it is somewhat my fault. It is not his fault that he does not enjoy sex with me that much, but it is not my fault either because I am trying any suggestion that he gives me. Part of the problem may be that he has had a lot more experience than I have. He is the only person I have had sex with, and I am admittedly not very confident sexually. The only way I will become more confident is through positive reinforcement, which I am not getting at the moment. It makes sense that I would be less desirable because I am not a take charge, sex goddess. However, it should be desirable that he is the only person I have been intimate with, and he can teach me what he likes. We will try not having sex for awhile and see how it goes when we do have sex again. I think we both need to forget the past and start fresh, but I don't know exactly how to put all the old thoughts out of our heads.

Thank you so much. It is reassuring to hear that things can get better. Yes, I am willing to do anything to satisfy him. It is frustrating because I have tried to do the things he has asked for, but they still haven't worked. Now he doesn't really have any suggestions. He says we should both just think about it. One thing is that it has only happened 3 times that he has been unable to ejaculate. The first time I was not trying very hard and he was exhausted. I think this may have created a mental block for us. We are both putting a lot of pressure on the situation, and even if it is better we may not notice because we are so worried that he may not orgasm again. I am going to suggest that we both take some pressure off the situation and try to make sex a more fun and loving act again.

Hi Seahorse,

Thank you for your question and I am certainly sorry to hear about your difficulties because I know this causes insecurities about yourself. I am very familiar with the situation that you are in as I was also in a similar situation. Let me explain my situation which may help you.

I was in a very loving relationship where my boyfriend was unable to ejaculate at times. This was very confusing and it caused me to feel very insecure about our relationship. Much of the problem was what satisfied him. What turned him on and what he expected from me. I was very happy with his sexual contact with me but there were things that he needed to help him enjoy his time.

Talk to him about it all and ask him what you can do. Try to make him comfortable enough to explain what he likes and what he wants you to do. Give him an open forum. Then you must try and try until you get it right. You love this guy, right? You will try to do anything to satisfy him. The only way that you will be able to fix it is if he is honest with you about what he wants or how he likes sex.

I hope this helps. Just remember it is not you. It may be something simple as mine was at the time. Maybe your previous time together wasn't as loving as it is this time around and he is more in tune with you as a wife instead of a girlfriend and the sexual relationship may differ in his mind. Be open minded about what he tells you but communication is key here.
Please keep us updated on what happens.