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Why won't my fiance sleep with me?

By March 22, 2017 - 6:37am
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I love my fiance more than anything, he is supportive and otherwise complementary. However for the past year he has not been sexually interested in me we go months at a time and then sometimes we will have really bad quick 'pump pump' no foreplay or kissing, and I feel like this is just to shut me up but actually makes me more upset. We are like best friends otherwise but that is what he feels like now a best friend that I live with but am I wrong to want more? I keep hearing that this is just what happens, you have great sex at the start and then none. What can I do? we had a conversation about it and he said I need to be bigger with my signals which I totally took on board but all that changed is it become more embarrassing for me when I make an effort and get shot down.

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Hi thank you for quick response.

we moved to india and he now works 2pm til midnight. I volunteer in the day.

i am 28 and he is 32. Yes he was quite explicit in telling me how to be 'bigger with my signals' which shocked me as thought he lost all interest in sex. I went out of my comfort zone to do some of his suggestions thinking maybe its just takes more to get him going after a long day at work with big new responsibilities. No luck still :-(. I dont want to give up on him but i also want to be happy.

thank you i will give it a read


March 22, 2017 - 9:37am

Hello rebecca2017,

Welcome to the EmpowHER community. Thank you for reaching out to us with your issue.
I am glad that you spoke to your fiance about this.

Have you told him how it makes you feel? Have you asked him for suggestions of ways you "can be bigger with your signals"?

Has anything, such as work schedules for either of you , changes since the beginning of the relationship? How old are both of you? Does he suffer with any medical conditions that might impact his sexual interest?

Can both of you have a dialogue to discuss how each of you are feeling and what you are looking for in this relationship?

You might find this article helpful.
"Infographic: How to Improve Intimacy With Your Partner"


March 22, 2017 - 7:56am
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