Facebook Pixel

Why would my boyfriend rather masterbate and ejaculate on me than have sex?

By January 1, 2015 - 5:10pm
Rate This

Recently, my boyfriend of almost 1 year has taken to masterbation rather than having sex with me. While in bed together he asks me to kiss him while he masterbates and proceeds to ejacualte on my leg ect. When we do have sex he is quick to orgasm and is not worried about my pleasure. As soon as he orgasims the sex is done. I am left wanting more and feeling sad and angry. I have told him that he needs to slow down while we are doing the deed because I take a while longer to reach an orgasm. In the beginning of our relationship he always made sure I was pleasured first. I feel as if he has gotten selfish in the bedroom and when he orgasims, the mood is over. He immediately gets up to clean himself off and I am left feeling used and uncared for. I shouldn't feel like this. Sex should be equally enjoyable for both parties. It's not fun for me anymore. Today we had sex and it has been a week since the last time I rode him, that lasted 2 minutes. I love him and don't know what to do. When I am in the mood he says he is too tired or too full. I don't get it, when we first started dating he wanted to have sex with me all the time. Help!

Add a Comment3 Comments

Sounds like he's a serial masturbator…it is actually an addiction and no reflection on any (lack of) desire for you.

"He's probably actually telling the truth. … Rather than take time to make love with his girlfriend (where he'll have to consider your pleasure too), he can quickly get his rocks off without having to worry about whether you're done yet. Basically, he's being selfish and inconsiderate.

Most men masturbate, but it doesn't generally affect the desire for their girlfriends/wives - they'll still have sex as well.

Maybe he could have a relationship with his right hand forever? (ie. dump him - or threaten to if he doesn't buck his ideas up?)

January 19, 2015 - 2:43am

Hello Parb6464,

Welcome to the EmpowHER community and thank you for coming to us for advice.

You are right; both partners in a relationship should be satisfied and respectful of this.

It is apparent that something has changed in your relationship.

What does your boyfriend offer as the reason for his behavior? Is there a reason that he has lost interest?


January 2, 2015 - 6:53am
(reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

After writing this I have talked to him again in a more serious manner. I told him I felt unwanted when he just wants me to kiss him while he pleasures himself. I also told him that after he has an orgasims and he thinks we are finished, I am left in the bed as he gets up feeling horrible and unpleased. I told him that I thought he was selfish with his doings. Is that wrong? He seemed to feel bad and said he didn't want to be selfish anymore. It's been three days since I've said this to him and we are distant towards eachother in the bedroom ever since. I thought telling him this would open him up more. Did I do or say something wrong? He was glad I told him all my feelings. But now he just seems farther away. We normally like to run errands together and today he told me he was running out and said I should stay put because I looked too comfortable. I'm so confused.?!

January 3, 2015 - 6:08pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!