I am hoping to gain perspective, help and guidance by posting my story. I have been married now for 16 years and we have 3 daughters all school age. Things were fine for the first few years but eventually he became very controlling and developed severe OCD. I tried to deal and live with it but it only got worse and he slipped into severe depression. He refuses to see a specialist or try to get any kind of medication. He has become angry and verbally abusive to me and my girls. He degrades us all and reminds us of all of our flaws. He is more so angry and abusive to me then the children but he still does it to them. For so long I felt so alone and frightened that I can't leave him because he would tell me "You can never make it on your own without me" and " You can't leave because you're to incompetent you need me to survive". Well I made a huge decision after listening to some very good self help advice from some audio books. I'm going to leave no matter how hard I know it will be to have to move back in with my parents I know I can't continue on to stay with him and endure the abuse. My girls and I need to get out of that environment. I will not ruin the rest of my life for his control and pleasure. I have given my all in our relationship and all I get in return is hatred and abuse. I have just as much right in this life to be happy as anyone. I am just as important as anyone else on this planet I have to remind myself and my girls of that every day. Anyway financially I know it will be very difficult I make very little income compared to him but my parents will allow me to stay with them until I can get on my feet. A step forward is always better than staying stagnant and not moving at all. I welcome any advice anyone can give and bless all the women and mothers out there dealing with similar situation.
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Hello Lynn Smith,
We welcome you to the EmpowHER community. I applaud you for making such a brave decision for both you and your daughters. Of course, you deserve better. Sadly, your husband is unable to change his behavior especially without professional help. Indeed, I believe you gave the relationship your very best.
You and your daughters deserve to live free of fear and abuse. You will make it. It will be hard, but you have loving parents who are welcoming you back home.
We are here if you need us.
Regards,October 21, 2016 - 8:21am