I'm 37 married for 17 years and mother of 4, 3 boys 20,28,26 and a girl 13.
I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism 15 years ago and type2 about 6 months ago. I am now on the path to lose weight which has been a struggle for me for many years. Feels like I have tried everything and nothing works. I just keep on keeping on.
My 18 yr old will be going off to college in the fall and I am so scared to let him go. I am really having a hard time with this. Does it get any easier? The fear of him being away.....not being able to be there whenever he might need me.
I've always been a stay at home Mom....I also do daycare in my home. I love my job it's so rewarding and not to mention the fact I love kids!!!
Janice
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One of my sons has been an undergrad for 8 - count them, 8 - years! Either he just loves being a professional student, or he can't make up his mind what he wants to major in. Well, actually, it's the latter, but he is finally going to graduate sometime this year. My daughter just finished up one degree and is about to embark on the next. Both are in honors; my daughter was just confirmed magna cum laude.
The other transition is the college graduation. As parents, we look forward to the day, even wonder if it will ever arrive, LOL! Once it does, you get such a strange feeling that's not quite like closure. It's a mixture of relief, excitement, pride and trepidation. Very weird.
You can only imagine what it's like for a kid who has spent the last 8 years trying to figure out what he wants to major in, especially when he excels in everything he attempts. Gee, I wish I had that problem, LOL!
April 24, 2008 - 4:20pmThis Comment
I worked in the Student Affairs division of a large, 4-year University for 7 years, and wanted to offer some advice for parents of first-time college students.
The Summer Orientations are a wonderful resource for parents, and not only for the printed information, presentations and resource fairs. The people WORKING behind the tables at the resource fairs and giving the presentations are the very same people who your college student will be coming into contact with on a regular basis! Get to know these people! Here's a few ideas how:
1. After the orientation presentation, there is usually time in between sessions for the presenter to prepare. Go up to the presenter, after their presentation, and introduce yourself. Think of a question from the presentation and ask them at that time.
2. Get to know the Student Affairs/Student Life personnel. These folks are wonderful, caring and very well educated on "college student development". Many of them received higher education degrees specifically in this field...working with college students and helping them with their college experience (everything outside of academics) is their passion!
3. Attend the luncheon or meet-and-greet with the Dean of Students or Student Affairs VP. Many students attend the "mandatory" sessions at Orientation (computer/technology set up, health insurance, class registration, etc.). Get to know these professionals who work in the non-academic realm; it is likely that if they are hosting a social-type gathering, they are very interested to talk with parents (and, you'll meet other parents this way as well).
4. Check out the University's website. Most schools have tips for new parents through the Health Services, Health Center, Student Affairs or Student Life divisions. There are parent handbooks often published by the University; a lot of care was probably taken to create helpful tips for parents!
5. Get to know University resources. Students are bombarded with information, and typically are more interested in knowing where their classes are located, who their professors are, what their dorm room looks like and getting to know their roommate. As a parent, you can do some research into what non-academic resources your student's University offers, and provide him/her with the information when asked. Some common non-academic resources include: recreational facilities, health center, counseling center, drug & alcohol center, volunteer agency, student organizations, etc. Please don't be scared off by the names of some of these offices; students don't need to be "in trouble" with their health, drugs, alcohol or "need counseling" to seek these resources. University counseling centers often provide seminars on test taking strategies or stress relief; some recreational facilities have massage and relaxation classes; health services can help students make healthy lifestyle choices; the drug & alcohol center is a great place to find information and volunteer.
In summary, I highly recommend checking out the University's non-academic resources via website and/or parent handbook, and attend the Orientation and participate in the meet-n-greet social activities.
Good luck!
April 24, 2008 - 2:57pmThis Comment
Thanks so much for sharing.
In an interview with MSNBC, Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital said it’s normal for a parent to feel nervous and sad about new school beginnings. Here’s some helpful excerpts from the rest of the interview along with some great tips on adjusting.
"It is a leap in both development and independence when your child begins a new school. Parents often see this as their child moving away from them, and needing them less. They then anticipate the day when their child will truly be an adult and be really independent and separate. Even though intellectually you know this is healthy and good for your child, it still hurts.
It is also hard to leave them in the care of new teachers and other strangers you don't know.
The feeling of separation anxiety is more likely to come up now if you had it when you were a child. You may be partially reliving your own childhood memories and now placing them onto your child.
Another cause for the anxiety may be guilt. You may be feeling unconscious guilt about the part of you that wants them to go to school, so you can have a break and do other things in life besides caring for them. When you are not fully aware of this guilt, it may cause you to feel you are a bad parent. You feel that you are wishing relief from your child - which you aren't – and that you should be trying to hold onto them more tightly. This only increases your separation anxiety and probably theirs too.
Realizing these feelings are normal, within limits, is important. There are things you can do ahead of time to get some relief when that day in September comes:
Check out the school beforehand
Seeing where they will be, and meeting some teachers can diminish your anxiety. The known is always less scary than the unknown.
Talk to other parents
Finding out that you are not alone with your feelings is a great source of relief. Plan a parent's coffee to share your sadness.
Start a new hobby
If your child is older, and it's more about sad empty nest, then start a new hobby. Giving "birth" to a new creative endeavor can really be distracting. It can also demonstrate that this is the beginning of an interesting new time in your life.
Sort out your feelings
Understanding your true feelings can really help. Figure out if what you are feeling is guilt, anxiety or sadness. Is it more about some ideal that you "should" be with your child all the time? Is it a fear that with your child at school, you will have no role? Understanding what drives the difficult emotion you are experiencing will help. If necessary, seek professional help."
You may also feel better if you understand what your child is going through during the first year and that knowledge may offer you some comfort should you notice changes in behavior, communication, etc.
If you would like to learn more, Kids Health has an excellent summary of what students can expect their first year at college.
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/school/college.html
April 23, 2008 - 10:17amThis Comment