We all want to fall in love, to feel that spark in our eyes and the heat on our faces when we see our loved one. So most of us that are still single are desperately looking for someone that will bring this feeling back to our lives, even putting it as our top priority. And yet we are doing it all wrong.
And this is because, before falling in love with someone, we should always make a serious effort towards loving ourselves. It is said that only two people very comfortable in their skins can truly understand the meaning of the word “love” and share a healthy life together. And here are the reasons why.
Reason # 1 - People are attracted to those who love themselves
What are the odds that you will fall in love with a person who doesn’t love themselves? One who is always complaining about everything and playing the victim’s role every day? Exactly, you wouldn’t.
Of course, when we first meet someone, we only see their bright side, not only because this is what they want us to see, but because we choose to believe in the act. Especially if we are looking forward to falling in love, we will hide the person that we really are, put our best communication skills into practice, and also ignore what is in front of our eyes. You should always be motivated by your life, by everything you are doing. Without inspiration you won`t open you heart.
But, as soon as the curtains are drawn, we see and show our true selves. And a low self-esteem will ruin any chances of building a long-term relationship because nobody can cope with self-destructive behavior.
Reason # 2 - You can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself
You are the person you have to live with every day. So it is only natural that you need to be in good terms with yourself. If you don’t, your mind will just go crazy as you can’t break up with yourself no matter how hard you try.
So if you haven’t managed to love yourself so far, you won’t be able to love anybody else. You probably don’t even know this feeling properly as you have never experienced it within yourself. Of course, we all know that there are different stages and kinds of love, and yet the first one is to love ourselves so that you can develop the others from there.
Reason # 3 - You won’t know what you are looking for
One of the consequences of loving yourself is that you will get to know the person that you are, your needs and interests. It works the same way that happens when you fall for someone: you want to know everything about them so you can make them happy.
Meaning that if you already love yourself, you will know better which kind of person you want to share your life with. It will make things much easier, so you won’t settle for anyone but for those that match your expectations.
Reason # 4 - You will stay for the wrong reasons
Many people look for a relationship not because they would like to have one, but because they can’t live without it. They might dread loneliness, feel incomplete, or even embarrassed of being single. They want someone to relieve anxiety, cast depression away, or make sure that the panic attacks won’t come back. They will have any reason but the fact that they want to get to know more about that person. And this is just not all right.
In other words, they start and stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons, and usually because that person wanted it. They are always chosen, never choosing their partners. They will bring into their lives anybody interested in supplying them with a distraction from their own problems.
There is no way around it. If you want to love someone, you must love yourself first. It will give you the tools that you need to choose your partner better and to make yourself and themselves happy in the short, medium or long term. Plus, you will have many more options available to people are usually attracted to those with a good level of self-esteem and plenty of interesting stories to share.
So stop looking for love outside and start trying to find it inside yourself. Get to know the person that you are, your likes and dislikes, and put a smile on your face every day. You can be sure that by doing it you will are more likely to recognize the right person for you when they show up in your life.