When those you care about are going through difficult times, it is natural to want to help them. However, depending on your approach, it's possible to do more harm than good. Additionally, it's very important to make sure you are in a position to help in the first place. It is vital to have your own needs met before you attempt to meet someone elses. There are many ways to help those we care about, so take some time to think about how you are best equipped to provide that help.
5) Be Present
Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can provide to our loved ones is our presence. The people from The Cremation Society of Ohio say that being a listening ear to your friends can be therapeutic for them. When someone comes to you with a problem, do your best to be fully engaged with them. Set aside electronic devices, and provide them with undivided attention. Check in with them to make sure you’re on the same page, and respond in a way that shows you’re on their side.
4) Take Care of Yourself
If you cannot take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? It's relatively common for some to help others at the expense of themselves. This, at first, seems selfless, but if you aren't taking account of your own needs, it's possible you won't be at your best when providing help.
3) Share Your Skills
If you have a specific set of skills or training, you may be a valuable resource to those around you! Are you a whiz at finances? Help a friend with financial forms! Are you a musician? Offer lessons or performances! If you are aware of specific abilities you can lend to friends, they aren't the only ones that benefit, you get extra practice.
2) Enlist the Help of Others
Sometimes, we aren't enough to help those close to us. If you've been paying close attention to their needs, as well as to your own needs and abilities, you'll know when you aren't enough to give them what they need. Being there for a loved one could mean gathering other people to help, especially if your own experience and help isn't enough.
1) Be Wary of Giving Advice
When you give advice, you may think you have the best interests of your friend at heart. However, its possible unintentionally override your loved one's needs. Advice giving can easily turn into lecturing. Before sharing your experience, be sure that advice is desired.
When we successfully help those who are close to us, we feel good about ourselves. The act of helping is a part of being human. If you remember to be aware of how you are helping and the assistance you can realistically offer, then you will be a better helper for it. There is no blanket answer for all mourning a loss, make sure to tailor your efforts to your particular friend or family member and try to be aware of what they need and what will help them through this time.
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