Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. In year 3 he was diagnosed with a brain tumour, it was not cancerous thankfully. He is 16 years my senior and has 3 children from a previous relationship. The mother of his children dis not allow him to see his children because he had a girlfriend. They were together for 20 years after 12 years just co-parenting as she was caught in bed with his best-friend their relationship went down hill from there.
Whilst he was in hospital and afterwards the mother refused for her children to see him still and tells them that he does not love them. The children are unaware of the secret that they have kept from them about her cheating with his best friend. (Even if they did know they are so far manipulated that they probably wouldn't believe it).
So since he came out from hospital I had been looking after him, he had it tough with seizures and feeling emotionally unbalanced due to the circumstances he was going through. I became his carer and put a lot of time into looking after him. He started to make improvements after his surgeory due to me looking after him and then his daughter called him one day and said that she wanted to live with him because she was not getting along with her mum. I was not keen becasue he was still vulnerable and only starting to make a stable recovery. He went against my wishes and then moved in with her 1 and a half hours away from me. She is 16. Since moving in with her his health has decreased and his recovery has gone backwards. I knew this may happen which is why I was not keen on it in the first place.
Anyway his daughter came to live with him and started to throw her weight around. She would sex with her boyfriends in the house while he was there or if I came down to visit. There would be a different guy every week. She did not respect the house rules and made me feel pushed out as she flexed her muscles being his child.
I am at a point that I feel exhausted to help him more when all he will do is drop me when his children call. I feel like I can't trust him, he doesn't take on my advice and when he is sick I pick him up, rub his back, take him to the hospital, generally keep him alive but I do not feel that I am getting the love that I need back. I hold some resentment towards him for leaving me to fulfil his child's needs. Is this fair? I have no one to speak to. I have tried to separate but I am a caring person that I don't want to leave him when he is not well but he tells me that he doesn't care whether he is dead or alive selfishly. He is moody, shouts a lot more and is not the person I feel in love with. Last night he dislocated his shoulder and said that he did not want to get it checked. He doesn't seem to be a team player any more. I think I feel let down that he is not reliable and that he could leave me any time.
I'm not sure what to do. It feels like a circle of depression.