Greetings everyone! I am looking forward to this blog as I go through my fifth round of cancer. My overall goal is to emphasize the importance of your own advocacy and the ups and downs that I have had as I go through this medical journey.
My surgery will be on March 24 at Stanford University. Until then I will be blogging about my emotions, my history with this disease and other experiences with the medical profession. I will always look forward to your feedback and hope this can turn into a dialogue.
My thoughts go back to the morning of January 6. I awake, knowing that today I find out whether I have cancer or not. It is an odd feeling, a feeling of total vulnerability.
I have been here before. If it is positive, then it will be the fifth time that I have had endometrial sarcoma, or uterine cancer. I have been through this drill before. The cat scan shows something is there, and we hold out hope that it is just scar tissue from previous surgeries. It never is, but I can’t help but hope that this time will be different.
This time my scan was the week before Christmas so it was more important than ever to hope. Get through the holiday season with a smile on my face, mostly for my daughter.
My procedure is I have the scan in Los Angeles, where I used to live and work at hospitals so I know a lot of medical professionals. Then the results are sent to my gynecological oncologist at Stanford. He is the one that will know.
Back to that morning. I feel alone but that is my choosing. My friends would be there in a second for me. But there is something about my Midwest upbringing—don’t be dramatic. Don’t draw attention to yourself. It is hard to shake that which has been drilled into you from an early age and yes, even fearing I might have cancer again feels like drama. I’ve had it before. I’ve always survived.
Dr. Berek e-mails me in the mid-afternoon. It is cancer. Let’s talk, he says.
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Kristin and Alysiak--thank you so much for your comments. What you say is true and ironically, both times I've had radiation it has been in October--Breast Cancer Awareness Month--when it seems--how dare you to have any cancer other than breast cancer! I, too, have been disappointed that there is not more embracing of "women's cancers" including the gynecological cancers. But I do realize that breast cancer impacts many more women.
March 3, 2009 - 4:33pmMary Schnack
This Comment
Mary, I so appreciate you sharing your experience with us -- it's invaluable. Like Alysia mentioned, there is such a huge focus on breast cancer that I'm sure there are many who are unaware of the other cancers that we need to spread awareness of. You have amazing strength and I truly admire you for opening up like this so we can be right there with you. Big hug!!
March 2, 2009 - 11:08pmThis Comment
Yikes, Mary!
Thank you for sharing your experience during your ordeal. We seem to focus so much on breast cancer that we've somewhat ignored other cancers affecting women and our sense of womanhood.
Thoughts and prayers going your way.
March 2, 2009 - 6:03pmThis Comment
The blogs will keep coming! Yes, the uterus was removed during the first surgery but the cancer keeps returning to the area, the cavity, of where it was. Fortunately, mine has not spread any of the times. There's more blog coming. Thank you so much for your kind words. Mary
March 2, 2009 - 4:09pmThis Comment