No body’s is perfect! If you see something lacking in your partner, there may be a dozen things that your partner may not like about you. It’s the degree of asymmetry in a relationship that eventually decides if a relation is going to last or not. Abuse, whether physical or psychological, is one of the many things that lead to break-ups. While the effects of physical abuse are visible on the body of the victim, the somewhat less talked about behavior is psychological abuse that leaves invisible scars on a person’s emotional well being and the damage done can sometimes take years to heal.
Psychological abuse can be of many kinds. From verbal abuse such as criticism, name-calling, frequent anger outbursts for no valid reason, humiliation, threats and blame to overly undermining and controlling behavior, psychological abuse is sometimes more difficult to address than physical or sexual abuse. Psychological abuse also includes isolating the victim so that they become more dependent on the abuser, use of intimidation and coercion and making the victim feel guilty for no reason.
Studies have shown that psychological abusers are typically raised in abusive environments and abusing is the only way they know how to deal with their own emotions.
Attending therapy to end such behavior can be one option for couples who are willing to learn, grow and heal. However, when one partner is closed and unwilling to change, calling it quits is the right thing to do.
Effects of psychological abuse become more profound if the abuse victim continues to drag on the relationship for the sake of love. Since the abusive partner has refused to change, things are only expected to get worse in the long term.
People that are being psychologically abused lose trust and confidence in themselves as well as in other relationships. They begin to feel worthless because that’s what they are constantly told so. In attempts to cope with the depression the abuse is causing, the victims may even try drugs which can have lasting consequences.
Recognizing your worth and deciding to get out of a relationship that is undermining your true potential is the first step towards recovery. Remember, that no one, even your spouse, has the right to treat you badly when you deserve otherwise. There is never an excuse good enough for abusive behavior and it’s never your responsibility to keep the relationship together when the other side refuses to do so.
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Hi Wendy,
What great advice for anyone going through an abusive relationship. You are right no one deserves to be abused by their partner.
Best
Daisy
April 14, 2014 - 5:40amThis Comment