Big stereotype: women like to talk all the time, and men don't.
Hold on - is this really a stereotype? We think of stereotypes as distorted reality that have only thin shreds of truth. But we also know that stereotypes do indeed bear many truths.
Women really do like to talk to their boyfriends, partners and husbands. More than their boyfriends, partners or husbands like to talk to them. And women tend to get upset or frustrated when their man doesn't communicate with them the same way. But since men and women ARE so different, it makes little sense to expect the same from them as we expect from ourselves.
Let's work with the differences instead of trying to make men more like us. They aren't like us and that ok. In fact, for me, that's great! Vive la difference! (you can insert a French accent if you like).
"How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny, says that all that talk by women is turning men away and making them clam up even more!
Men tend to retreat in times of difficulty and women want to establish dialogue. So in times of marriage difficulty, men get annoyed with women who want to hash out all the issues ad nauseum, and women think men don't care because they won't discuss everything in detail.
This authors of this book think that women expect men to talk too much and need to understand that it's not in their nature. In other words, not every single issues needs to be verbally beaten to death and sometimes we can say a lot more by saying a lot less. Expecting men to do what comes unnaturally is unfair, unrealistic and can lead to far more problems than before.
It's fair to want men to talk. And communicate. But there are other ways to communicate, in addition to chat. Making a great dinner. Cuddling. Eating together. Taking a walk. Holding hands. Sex. Enjoying a glass of wine in the late evening. Body language. Putting away laundry: he folds, you hang.
In other words, it doesn't have to be all about talking. It's all about "connecting".
Makes sense to me.
For more on this subject, click here http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/26/o.improve.your.marriage/in...
Does this theory ring true to you? Why/Why not?
How do you connect best with your husband/partner?
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