Focusing On the Job

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Sometimes at work we get caught up in the gossip, drama and general feel of the place as opposed to the actual work we have to do. While getting along well with co-workers is important, it's also important to maintain certain boundaries for many reasons:

1 - You may find you don't actually hate your job at all, you simply hate the atmosphere created by the people around you, the in-fighting, the gossip, and the general office politics. By focusing on your work, that is, the work you are technically paid to produce, you can eliminate some of that tension and get back to the reason you come in to the office every day in the first place.

2 - People may be more ambitious than you realize. You may let your guard down and become "friends" with someone at work only to realize he or she has discovered personal information about you that he or she will, without guilt, use against you for his or her own personal gain in an unsavory and potentially very hurtful way.

3 - Getting caught up in the drama of office politics takes away from your effectiveness, professionalism and respectability. While you may have a blast going out with people from work, you will also drain your energy for doing your best the next day. Hanging out and laughing with people is great, and making authentic connections with co-workers is fantastic, but let things develop slowly, build your trust over time, not immediately, and never sacrifice your quality of work or your competency in favor of fun with co-workers after hours.

4 - Blurring your boundaries can get you in trouble with you boss. Whether you are aware of it or not, most administrators are keenly alert to alliances being formed and broken, who is sleeping with whom, who is buddy-buddy and who is on the outs. Sometimes bosses use these alliances and even the negative relationships to their advantage, manipulating workers, pitting them against one another and creating little competitions to make people more productive and, in some cases, to keep emotional control of people so that they are off balance and seeking approval.

5 - Keeping under the radar will give you your life back. If you strongly create healthy boundaries, you will be saving your life at home for yourself. If you have a family, this means you'll still have emotional and mental (not to mention physical) energy for the children and partners in your life. If you are single or live alone, you will have that space to go out dancing, pursue advanced degrees or other schooling, hobbies or outside friendships.

Remember, being at work is only part of your life, not the whole thing. It's great to meet people at work and, in time, some people end up with lifelong friendships or even marriages or partnerships through relationships formed on the job. But, if the work environment is real and not just a high-turnover gossip factory, it will take some time and it will feel supportive of your efforts at being professional and respected, not something that will deplete you and tear you down.

Aimee Boyle lives in CT with her boys and husband, her chocolate lab and her tiger striped cat, lots of fish and now, a gorgeous Christmas tree. She is a regular contributor to EmpowHER.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.