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Response to Criticism

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There are many ways to respond to criticism. Old adages and sage advice can help soften the blows life deals us. Phrases and incantations which make us feel more or less able to regain our balance, composure and some semblance of our self-esteem, and move on.

Whatever your particular pearl of wisdom, it’s important to realize two things:

1. Criticism is a valuable, necessary and sometimes incredibly beautiful part of life. Often it is something that you need to hear, that will help you to grow. Treasuring criticism as a true gift in your life, a way to become stronger, smarter, better at what you do and how you do it will allow you to continue moving forward and take away a good deal of the shame which may surround the criticism.

If your parents, teachers, employers, friends and significant others never addressed anything with you which needed adjustment or growth, you would not develop. It’s simply not possible to learn everything you need to learn without trying and coming up against things you need to do differently, and in this regard, criticism is your ally, it assists you.

2. Criticism is, especially as you grow older, yours to do with what you will. As a child and teen, and even as a young adult, we react rather than respond to criticism. We feel emotion about it, we either hurry to correct or become defensive. In either case we don’t turn it over or toss it out very easily.

As we grow and mature, it becomes both easier and more important to use our own best judgment when a criticism is thrown our way. We can ask ourselves certain questions, such as “Is this criticism being tossed over at me for the genuine, authentic purposes of really helping me become better at what it is I’m doing or not?” We begin to see that in certain instances we simply don’t agree with the criticism and choose not to incorporate it into our routine.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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