Who Am I?
Ever had that feeling of " I have lost myself"... that was me back in 2007 and 2008 not being able to know what was wrong with me...I had to dig down deep and re-birth that once found self-esteem and know that "Can't" was no longer going to be in my vocabulary..
Throughout the past 7 years, I have had to learn how to re-evaluate my life at a deeper and spiritual level. When one is adopted, in most cases, the Adoption Agencies don’t usually have your birth parent’s family history. If something goes wrong health wise, you do not have the sources to help you. So for me, that started my journey, and that was at age 17. By that time, most teenage girls have already had their menstrual Cycles. I didn’t have one and I end up having this fear in the back of my mind “what is wrong with me…” I had gone to so many different Doctor’s and they all told me the same thing, they were not sure so, they put me on a high dose of estrogen, instead. I really didn’t think too much of it and continued on with “Life”. Around the age of 23 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and I began to gain a lot of weight. By the time that I turned 27, I had become a size 18/20 and weighed 268 lbs. In the year of 2007, enough was enough. I finally went to see a Reproductive Doctor, and was told that I actually had, Premature Ovarian Failure. I was then put on a different kind of hormones, and little did I know, these new hormones would make my body respond in a crazy way. I was not myself, and I started to suffer from depression and started craving alcohol. Now, THAT was not normal for me. Then I lost my hair, only to find out that I had Androgenic Alopecia. I felt ugly and became even more depressed. To make matters even worse, after a hospital visit I was diagnosed as being Bi-Polar. I slowly fell into a world filled with lost and despair. “Who AM I??”
After meeting with many Doctor’s a final decision was made in the year of 2008, for me to have a Full Hysterectomy, which in fact put me into what they call, “Surgical Menopause”. At the same time, I was told that I was missed diagnosed back in 2007 as being Bi-Polar. In fact, the Hormone Treatment Therapy that the Doctors had given me sent my Reproductive System into overdrive in 2007. I was indeed NOT Bi-Polar and my symptoms were actually caused by the Hormone Imbalance. The weight was finally lifted off of my shoulders. However, I was knocked back into reality, when I began to have the symptoms associated with Menopause. Along with the hot flashes and mood swings, questions were going on inside of my head, “What now?” “How much more can my body take?” and “Why is this happening to me?”
While I was in the hospital, recovering from my surgery, I began to do my own research, by surfing the internet for any kind of answers I could find about my health. I needed to know more than just what the Doctor’s were telling me, which was, “You will have to be on Estrogen Therapy until the age of 50.” EmpowHer, I began reading Michelle King Robson’s, the founder, of EmPowHer’s story. I remember thinking, “Hey, this story sounds just like my life experiences.” I was so intrigued by her story, that I began researching several different topics listed on their site and that’s when my journey began to start After I got the right combination of eating, not only healthier, but the right combination of food, exercise routine and by maintaining a positive outlook on life, I began to see a significant change in myself. Now this all was not an easy journey, but I did it, and by doing this I rediscovered my new “I AM “in life. I found that the “I AM” is my source and confidence, “I AM” going to make it through discipline, prayer and faith, and most importantly, “I AM” BEAUTIFUL inside and out.
So what has been eating at you that you feel you have lost yourself?~