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living with an alcoholic

By March 19, 2011 - 8:28am

I have been married for 17yrs. I knew he was an alcoholic when I married him. Things have gotten so bad. When he is sober, he is the best, but I can,t forget all the name calling, the nasty things he says, and sometimes physical abuse. I know I should leave him, but it is so hard to do. We lost our home 2 years ago and we live in a 5th. wheel in my moms driveway. Its very hard to get away from him when he's drunk. I feel like I am trapped, he has no family, if I tell him to leave he would be living on the street. What am I to do?

By March 18, 2012 - 12:30pm

Hi Cheryl,
I have to agree with Susan above. I have lived with an alcoholic father and then married an alcoholic/drug addicted husband. I can only tell you this. You need to break the chain of abuse. Only YOU can do it. I know how you feel, hopeless, helpless, low self esteem. Most of all, you don't believe you can make it on your own. Also that when he is good he is very very good. It is not the alcohol inasmuch as it is his own behavior.
From my own experience I learned how to focus on me. I went to alanon, and also called the battered women's shelter to go to groups there.
From all I have learned and applied, I can honestly say that I sit here writing you as a Victor not a Victim. Blessings, Donna

March 18, 2012 - 12:30pm
By May 20, 2011 - 6:19pm

Hi, Cheryl1955.
Sorry to read what your going through, been there, done that and your right it"s hard to leave, but not impossibe. Love yourself more than you love him.... abuse is never ending if you don't take a stand

May 20, 2011 - 6:19pm

Group Leader

Related Topics


Superwomen... we all are. But now lets add the 24-7 responsibility of caring for your chronically ill husband/spouse... whether it be depression, ALS, MS, diabetes, heart condition, cancer... or...? It takes its toll. Even when they are appreciative, but what about when they are not.. when the anger is directed at you. The depression of theirs add to the challenges. Many of us don't want to leave...but how do we cope? how do we find time for ourselves without making the situation even worse?


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