Today is Tuesday, June 8, and I am still here at St. Joe's. I originally checked in May 26! I don’t think I would have made it this long again if it weren’t for all the drugs that I’m on. I have been bedridden this entire time, and for the most part, completely dependent on others for everything from getting me coffee in the morning to walking me to the bathroom. It is frustrating sometimes not being able to do things on my own, and I feel bad asking the nurses and caregivers for help every time. I have only been outside one time since I have been here. That day was extremely windy, so we didn’t stay outside for too long.
One would think that I am bored being in here for so long without having access to things. Ironically, I feel like I have been really busy! I have Steve here as a caregiver, Debbie Wing visiting from Park City, friends stopping by to say hi, working on the new Web site, which we are aiming to launch on June 19, and odds and ends for the fundraiser. It is all exhausting. I am constantly falling asleep during the day, even when someone is talking to me. I think the drugs play a good part in this. It seems the more monotone the voice, the more apt I am to falling asleep while the person is talking to me, unless the conversation is actually a two-way conversation.
Physical therapy has started coming by to help me. The first day they showed me basic stuff like standing up, sitting down, etc. They had a term that they taught Steve, called, “BLT,” which means no “bending, lifting or turning.” This is to protect my fragile back from fracturing again. Yesterday, they brought me a walker. I almost died when I saw that thing. I never thought I would see the day anytime soon where I would have any of these hideous devices in my possession. I apprehensively held onto the walker and started with the therapist to walk out the door. As we were walking about the hospital floor each step burned through my hips and lower back. I felt like I was walking really funny with my butt way out and my hips swaying side to side with each step I took. We finished one lap around the floor and returned to my room.