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Trouble Sleeping with Lung Cancer

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Damn-another night of sleeping with the light on and up late on the computer.

Last night I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up I was practically naked and confused as to what had happened the night before. I didn’t remember going to bed. Suddenly I heard footsteps walking around inside the house. I listened as they stepped into the bathroom. I was a little frightened because I wasn’t sure who was here, and I still didn’t know why I was practically naked in bed. I called out and it was my friend Michelle that answered! She had come over the night before. Apparently, I was so tired yesterday around 9pm I fell asleep on the couch with my soda and spilled it all over myself. Michelle sent me to my room to change out of my soaked clothes. When I came into the bedroom, I stripped down and just got into bed. It all made sense. I was a little weirded out though by the fact that I didn’t remember anything from the night before…

Back to last night. I was really tired when I went to bed around 11pm, but I stayed up flicking around on the internet. I woke up just a few minutes ago with the light on and my head was tilted almost upside down on the foam back support and my pillow. This is not going to feel very good on my neck and head for the rest of the day. Thank godness I don’t have any early am Cancer Treatment Center appointments. I emailed Dianne for my schedule this week. I know that I do have chemo on Thursday. That sucks because it’s my birthday. I don’t want to be sick the couple of days after my birthday. Wow…I can’t believe I am having another birthday, it seems like I just had one. I can’t believe I am going to be 32. I remember when that number seemed so old to me and I thought I would be married with kids by now. lol. It is strange because my mind in a sense has not progressed past last December. I feel like it is still the holidays from last year. This whole year just flew by with all of the doc appointments and time spent in the hospital. I think I can truly say that I spent most all of 2009 in a hospital bed with 4 back surgeries (verebrowplasty and thorcotomy copectimy), two blood clots, two bouts of pancreatitus, three lung collapse, and thousands of dollars worth of medication.

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Happy, happy birthday, Melissa! Thank you so much for chronicling your journey this year. And after following your ups and downs all year, I am astonished that it seems that it's gone fast. You went through so very much! I would have thought it felt like two years instead of less than one. This is testament to your incredible spirit and kickass attitude! I hope you have something special planned for your birthday, even though it's chemo day. We'll be thinking of you! And be sure there are one or two candles on your cake "to grow on" !!

December 2, 2009 - 10:30am
Expert HERWriter Guide Blogger

Hi Melissa - Wow, I'm excited that your birthday's this week, so I wanted to send you early and extra special good wishes to you in celebrating number 32!!! And I too can remember when 30 seemed like such a long way away, and so "old"...boy was I mistaken. You know, I completely get what you mean when you say it's as if your life has been frozen in time since last December. When you have a serious illness so much of your life is focused around medical needs, and so much of what used to be the regular routine goes out the window, and all that just jumbles up one's sense of time. I wish you hadn't had to spend most of 2009 in bed, and know it hasn't been easy for you. We are all blessed by the time you take to write to us and give us your real world perspective on living with lung cancer. Have a good birthday, Melissa. We'll be thinking of you on Thursday and hoping we get to do this again next year.
Take good care,

December 1, 2009 - 6:12pm
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