My baby was almost 10 months old. I had been back to work for 6 months and the time had finally come that I was able to quit my job to stay home and raise our baby. I couldn’t wait to spend every moment with the baby boy that was growing and changing right before my eyes. But I didn’t know what a big change it would be for ME.
In the beginning, it felt like vacation. I didn’t rush to get ready in the morning. The baby still woke up early. He was so used to the day care schedule that our days continued to begin at 5:00am. But still, I was up to play with him and it was leisure time. I was so happy with my new job.
Our day was very structured. He was only 10 months old but I created a daily schedule that included learning about colors, numbers, and parts of the face. There was time for reading and music and lots of interactive play. I took him to puppet shows and story time. Every moment that he was awake, I spent time with him. I could do that because he was my only child.
I was sure that with my new occupation, I would not only be able to keep my home clean and decorate more, I would try new recipes and become that great cook that I never had time for before. In the first few weeks, it ran pretty smoothly. I awoke early to play with the baby. I made my husband lunch to take to work and planned our daily activities. When the baby napped, I did laundry, organized closets and began a baby scrapbook. I was taking care of our home and our baby. Yes, I felt lucky.
Within a few weeks, I realized that staying at home was harder work than I thought. I grew tired of planning meals that took too much effort to shop for, make, and clean up. Since I was spending all my time at home, I found more things about my house that I wanted to change. Home projects that would cost extra money that we didn’t have and things we would never have time to do. By being home all day, there was more time to dirty more dishes, scatter more toys and create more mess. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t keep my house clean.
Also, I was lonely. Of course, I wouldn’t admit it.