I was a really happy pregnant woman. I may have been tired. I may have been swollen. I may have even been sick at times. But I did feel like I was glowing. I was creating a life and I was happy.
Unfortunately, I also had these crazy hormones which made me incredibly emotional.
Throughout those months the tears flowed frequently. Crying happened for me at times that it normally might, during a sad movie or even a Mastercard commercial (“New digital camera $400, new camcorder $900, welcoming your baby into the world-PRICELESS). During my pregnancies, my emotions were magnified.
One December, my husband and I were attending my cousin’s wedding (the same wedding where I struggled to find something to wear to hide my baby bump because I hadn’t shared the good news yet. It didn’t work and I had to tell my family despite my effort. A long coat and large handbag will only do so much.).
As the beautiful bride walked down the aisle, my lip started to quiver and by the time she was standing by her groom, I had tears streaming down my face and my body shook from my silent cry.
Embarrassed, my husband slouched down in his seat and leaned in slightly to me, “What’s wrong?” he whispered. “Damn hormones.” I sobbed quietly. I couldn’t control it and I wasn’t even sure why I was crying.
On a separate occasion, I was grocery shopping close to my eighth month of pregnancy. The eighth month was the donut craving month with my first son and every time that I went for my weekly grocery trip, I had to have a donut. So I had my list and I had my donut.
Somewhere around the cereal aisle, I notice the overhead music playing. Grocery store music always seems to be early ‘90s “soft rock” or “easy listening.” It’s the music that you would almost make fun of if you weren’t singing to it. So I notice it and realize it is a Celine Dion song called “A New Day Has Come.” The heartfelt lyrics are about her newborn son. I find myself sobbing against a Wheaties box, donut in hand, before the second verse. It must have been quite a sight.
A store employee that was walking by actually stopped to ask if I was okay or if I needed anything.