Keep Your Friendship Alive

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There's a funny disconnect. Somewhere along the line we think that friendship has to die for romance to blossom. Maybe it's really more of a continuum. After all, if your significant other isn't really your friend, are they going to continually look out for you, want what's best for you, be there for you to confide in, confide in you and stay loyal, as you would expect from a really great friend?

In so many instances, especially long term relationships, it seems that couples go from hanging out and spending free time together to pursuing their fun, down time with their "friends" and saving the difficult times, the times of stress and expectation for their significant other.

In the name of really caring about your significant other, how about keeping the friendship alive? This in no way means your romance can't exist simultaneously, in fact, being in love with your best friend is probably the most amazing experience you could possibly have, especially when it's reciprocated!

When was the last time you rushed home to see your significant other or couldn't wait to talk to him or her on the phone; not only because you were "checking in" or being responsible, but because you really wanted to, as you would with a great friend you missed, who you wanted to share the details of your thoughts and your day with?

Along the continuum of friendship, dating, romance and longer term relationships, we sometimes forget that we're actually allowed to enjoy the company of the people we've chosen as partners - we don't need to judge every little thing they do or be judged - friends traditionally have been those people you actually trust and like, and not just people to measure yourself against or try to be perfect for, or constantly compete with.

Injecting your relationship with some honest-to-goodness friendship can renew and invigorate your sense of enjoyment, fun, relaxation and pleasure with your partner. Taking the pressure off and just having a good time together, no matter what it is you are doing, can go a long way toward bringing the bond back between you.

Aimee Boyle is a mom and a teacher, writer and relaxation seeker who writes regularly for EmpowHER.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.