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Married and Facebooking: Some Rules to Follow

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rules for Facebooking when you're married Marili Forastieri/Photodisc/Thinkstock

Questions of fidelity, honesty, and communication have always been issues in marriage, but the advent of social networking can turn these concerns into daily issues.

From flirting online to friending old flames, Facebook and other social media sites pose a number of issues for marriages.

This doesn’t mean social networking is inherently harmful for relationships. Indeed, it can provide a jumping off point for discussion and provide couples with insights into how other couples do things.

If you follow basic rules of social networking for married couples, you’ll avoid landing in hot water with your spouse.

Social Networking Dos

• Use social networking as a spring board for discussion with your spouse.
Couples who have been together for an extended period of time often struggle to come up with new conversation topics.

Mention the news article you saw on Facebook or the hilarious tweet your co-worker sent you, and you may find yourself finally covering new ground with your spouse.

• Share social networking passwords.
This doesn’t mean you should regularly break into one another’s Facebook accounts without permission. Indeed, that would be hugely invasive.

But knowing that your spouse has your password can help keep you honest. It also ensures that your spouse can get in touch with people via Facebook in case of an emergency.

• Say nice things about your spouse on Facebook.
And occasionally post loving messages on his or her Facebook page. Social networking provides another avenue through which you can express your love.

Moreover, it makes it clear that you love your spouse can deter people who might want to invade your marriage. Sharing your love can also remind friends and family of the importance of your relationship, encouraging them to be supportive of its continued existence.

• Ask your spouse before friending any “controversial” figures.
This might include your exes or your spouse’s ex, people with whom you’ve had previous flirtations, and people who have been unkind to your spouse. You should each have final veto power over whom the other is friends with.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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