Ok, you’ve had your baby. All is well until your partner leans over and asks you when will you be able to have sex again. Now before you tell him what for, he’s got a good question. Just when is it safe to begin to have sexual intercourse again?
A Time to Heal
First of all, you will need to give your body time to heal. Many doctors recommend four to six weeks since this will allow time for the cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal according to the Mayo Clinic.
But the physical aspect is just one point. A whole other important point is to ask yourself is, are you ready? While some women feel ready to have sex within a few weeks, some may take longer. It all depends on you and what’s going on with your body. If you are fatigued, suffering postpartum blues or experiencing other body changes, this will impact your attitude or readiness for sex.
So let’s say a reasonable length of time has gone by and you still feel too tired for sex. Hey, taking care of a newborn can be exhausting. We all love our babies, but those little boogers need constant care as soon as their eyes open. So, why not let your partner know that you’re tired and why. Then plan for sex when your energy is high and the baby is asleep.
What if you’re not interested in sex?
According to Mayo Clinic, that’s OK. You can be intimate without having sex. What’s most important is to maintain the communication between you two. For example, spend time together, even if it’s just a few minutes while the baby sleeps. Call each other during the day. Look for ways to express affection which encourages a secure relationship. But what if your low mood is not lifting? Then you may need further medical help. Don’t be shy to let your doctor know as well as your partner.
How will it feel? Will it be painful?
That’s the questions many ask. Let’s take one at a time. After a vaginal delivery, the muscle tone is different. Many experience less friction which decreases arousal. But the good news is that usually this is only temporary. Most have heard of the Kegel exercises.