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Just the Two of Us--The Importance of Downtime in Your Relationship

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You have a significant other/spouse/partner. You love to do things together but you also love to invite your friends/sister/neighbor/mother-in-law/offspring. You live together so you see each other all the time, but when you're home you're always cleaning/cooking/paying bills/folding laundry/gardening/fighting/having sex/feeding the dogs/children/cleaning out the little one's back pack.

It's life.

We all get busy. We love our loved ones but we just have so much going on all the time, with them, without them, with others and them, and so forth. It's crucial, however, to make some time that is only time for the two of you with little, if nothing, on the agenda, just "hanging out."

It's a fast paced world now. It's possible that you want to accomplish many things at once, and that you may be actually texting your child's teacher while your lover is kissing your neck, but it's probably not the healthiest for your relationship.
I know, too, that sometimes when you're alone with your loved one you simply want to watch television while they do whatever it is they want to do; or you would like to shop with them for that new piece of carpet since you never have time. But don't do it all the time. Make certain times just for you two, just to walk around a garden somewhere, arm in arm, holding hands.
Having down time with our significant others with no pre-planned agenda or need to accomplish things can be an invaluable resource; a wellspring of good feeling and subtle connection that enables us to find out who we are in our relationships again, empowers us to turn off that switch that forces us to "get somewhere" without pause. It's relaxing, too to know that you can spend time in this way without running the business of your life for a few moments.

Taking even just an evening on a regular basis can help keep the foundation of your relationship strong adding muscle and bonding for facing the inevitable barrage of reality and responsibilities we struggle with every day.

Aimee Boyle regularly takes time out to hold hands with her husband and take him out for no reason whatsoever.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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