Cancer - The Support

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After my second surgery, after which I had 5 ½ weeks of radiation treatment, I put together a speech:

The 10 Dumb Things People Say to Someone With Cancer -- an upbeat and humorous approach for how to help someone who has recently received the “Big C” diagnosis.

I’ve had a lot of fun giving that speech over the years. Last May I gave it to the Icelandic Cancer Association and was interviewed by virtually all of the media in that small country. It really captured people’s attention and I spoke to a full house.

I end the list of 10 dumb things with this statement:
In reality, none of these sayings are “dumb,” but only an uneducated way for people to reach out and show they care. They want to say something positive and hopeful…and we all know that that is better than saying nothing at all.

After I told people about my diagnosis this time, I started collecting the comments I got. Maybe it’s because it’s been five times for me, but I must say my friends do not say anything “dumb” at all. And all I’m sharing here is some of the e-mails I got. I also got cards in the mail and had people say wonderful things to me personally.

I know you are positive and upbeat as can be expected with the confirmation of the cancer return. A small tumor is indeed good news. I also know you are weary of the surgery, test and round of doctors. Please know that I care for you and love you my dear friend. I will help you in anyway you need during surgery and recovery. I hold you close in my thoughts and prayers. Bobbie

You're really unbelievable, you know. A book from you at some time about keeping on needs to be written. Really, you are an amazing woman and an inspiration to me. Dev

Wow……..but the details are not so bad. No spreading-wonderful! And drug therapy with no side effects? Great, but what is that? You are working on your Iron (Wo)Man status, but every time, you come out okay again. God bless you for taking it on each time with strength and the best possible attitude. Really.
And God bless you in general – this has to be very, very hard in spite of the good prognosis. Whatever I can do to help, please let me know. Take care, and we’ll talk soon,
Nancy

Mary -Thanks for the cookies. Once they arrived and were eaten we could declare the 2008 Holiday season officially over. Now we move into the season of watching economic indicators and fondly remembering when our 401 K wasn't a 101 K.
Sorry to hear about the surgery. Perhaps they should close with Velcro or would that be a jinx? :>) love you. - adam

Oh Mary.
You are such a warrior. I still have to giggle at you and how you schedule your trips around cancer surgery. But that is how more people should handle this stuff. Life goes on. I truly look up to your perseverance in circumstances like this. I really think you need to get more involved in this aspect of your life. More speaking --- more motivational work. You are inspirational. Xo Jessica Denison

The dreaded C word, what can I say except what you told me when you first mentioned it to me. You are a strong positive person and I believe that that is the major weapon you have to fight it. I will be on your side as you fight it. Big hug Mary, love Jess x

Hi Mary, Thanks for calling yesterday. It was good catching up. Naturally, I was really distressed to learn that your cancer is back. It's got to be so difficult having that on your mind. But, I'm confident that the outcome is going to be good. Between your great attitude, excellent doctors and the success you've had in the past, the surgery has to be successful again. Karen says to send her love and best wishes too. Love, Jeff

Well drat on that. Your cancer return I mean. Your health is the first concern. And you are so amazing in how you confront the challenges. I'll cheer you on and keep you informed. Big hugs, Gloria

Mary, my prayers are with you, and I will tell everyone I know. I so appreciate your “trooperism” (new word I just created, ha ha). Trooperism is the indomitable spirit that occurs when faced with adversity. You have it to the max. Take care and I will talk with you soon. Barbara

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.