For me, it depends who I am trying to interact with. I found an interesting questionnaire (available via pdf file) called the Norbeck Social Support Questionnaire (NSSQ). You need a zillion doctorate degrees in statistics to figure out how to score your test (click on "NSSQ instrument"), but it was helpful for me just to read the questions. I didn't need a "score" to help me figure out where I would like to improve, and in what general area.
According to the NSSQ, there are several types of social support:
- spouse or partner
- family members or relatives
- friends
- work or school associates
- neighbors
- health care providers
- counselor or therapist
- minister/priest/rabbi
- other (God, pet)
I agree with miscortes that our new "reality" is watching realty TV in many cases, but I don't really enjoy talking on the phone (like I did as a teenager), because for some reason, it does feel intrusive. It always seems like a bad time. Rarely does anyone call anymore "just to talk", but rather are requesting something from me. (With that said, however, I do feel a certain giddiness when a girlfriend CALLS me to invite me to a movie, instead of emailing...).
Most of the time, I find that I do talk with, and see, the people I want to (spouse, fellow-mom friends, sister, parents, in-laws, a few select neighbors); and technology has helped me in other ways---to keep in touch with long-distance friends, "other" neighbors and "other" friends that I'd rather share pictures and quick stories with on a monthly basis, but only via email or internet.
Technology has helped me communicate better with one group, and that is health care providers, counselors and work associates! Writing is a great communication method, as you can review and revise what is said, especially when it is critical that your question or health concern needs to be understood.
However, in the friend and partner world, I think email, ideally, should only replace the written letter (remember those?) and not friendly "just calling to say hi" phone calls.
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For me, it depends who I am trying to interact with. I found an interesting questionnaire (available via pdf file) called the Norbeck Social Support Questionnaire (NSSQ). You need a zillion doctorate degrees in statistics to figure out how to score your test (click on "NSSQ instrument"), but it was helpful for me just to read the questions. I didn't need a "score" to help me figure out where I would like to improve, and in what general area.
According to the NSSQ, there are several types of social support:
- spouse or partner
- family members or relatives
- friends
- work or school associates
- neighbors
- health care providers
- counselor or therapist
- minister/priest/rabbi
- other (God, pet)
I agree with miscortes that our new "reality" is watching realty TV in many cases, but I don't really enjoy talking on the phone (like I did as a teenager), because for some reason, it does feel intrusive. It always seems like a bad time. Rarely does anyone call anymore "just to talk", but rather are requesting something from me. (With that said, however, I do feel a certain giddiness when a girlfriend CALLS me to invite me to a movie, instead of emailing...).
Most of the time, I find that I do talk with, and see, the people I want to (spouse, fellow-mom friends, sister, parents, in-laws, a few select neighbors); and technology has helped me in other ways---to keep in touch with long-distance friends, "other" neighbors and "other" friends that I'd rather share pictures and quick stories with on a monthly basis, but only via email or internet.
Technology has helped me communicate better with one group, and that is health care providers, counselors and work associates! Writing is a great communication method, as you can review and revise what is said, especially when it is critical that your question or health concern needs to be understood.
However, in the friend and partner world, I think email, ideally, should only replace the written letter (remember those?) and not friendly "just calling to say hi" phone calls.
So...what is the magical "cure" for loneliness?
September 7, 2008 - 1:37pmThis Comment
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