I've been married for eleven years, been a military spouse just as long and we have three children together. We have had NO serious issues as a married couple in the past. Both of us are happy, loving and playful with each other, even after all these years! I am a stay at home mom, an A+ cook, housewife, mother, all of it....He recently got back from his third deployment (six months, shortest so far) and after around 4 weeks of him being home I find out he had an affair with a co worker THE WHOLE DEPLOYMENT.......i'm struggling so hard to deal with this after all of the sacrifices I have made for this man. Don't get me wrong, he still wants to be with me and thus far has done EVERYTHING in his power to make it right. However, the betrayal is soooo over the top, that i don't know how to make my feelings go away. I found emails (that's how I found out) in a email account that he accidently left open one morning. The details of there love making and the quality of time they spent together is like no other pain I could ever explain. He stopped all contact with her, but she was desperate and even made fake facebook pages to try to get to him. I know for sure he isn't in contact with her now I have access to all of his accounts.He loves me so very much and would do anything to go back and change it all. It's just so hard to get passed and it's changed everything for me. I don't feel like he's my hero anymore:( The honor and respect are gone. His infidelity isn't because I didn't meet his emotional needs like everyone says has to happen for an affair to accur! I meet his needs and then some..........he was just deployed and selfish (if that even makes sense)..We spoke on the phone at least twice aday and skyped on the weekends. He got packages, pictures, gifts etc..........I've always stayed clear of arguments while he's deployed so that we both feel good about each other when our conversations are over. So.....can anyone explain why this happen to me or is anyone in the same predicament?
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I've been married for eleven years, been a military spouse just as long and we have three children together. We have had NO serious issues as a married couple in the past. Both of us are happy, loving and playful with each other, even after all these years! I am a stay at home mom, an A+ cook, housewife, mother, all of it....He recently got back from his third deployment (six months, shortest so far) and after around 4 weeks of him being home I find out he had an affair with a co worker THE WHOLE DEPLOYMENT.......i'm struggling so hard to deal with this after all of the sacrifices I have made for this man. Don't get me wrong, he still wants to be with me and thus far has done EVERYTHING in his power to make it right. However, the betrayal is soooo over the top, that i don't know how to make my feelings go away. I found emails (that's how I found out) in a email account that he accidently left open one morning. The details of there love making and the quality of time they spent together is like no other pain I could ever explain. He stopped all contact with her, but she was desperate and even made fake facebook pages to try to get to him. I know for sure he isn't in contact with her now I have access to all of his accounts.He loves me so very much and would do anything to go back and change it all. It's just so hard to get passed and it's changed everything for me. I don't feel like he's my hero anymore:( The honor and respect are gone. His infidelity isn't because I didn't meet his emotional needs like everyone says has to happen for an affair to accur! I meet his needs and then some..........he was just deployed and selfish (if that even makes sense)..We spoke on the phone at least twice aday and skyped on the weekends. He got packages, pictures, gifts etc..........I've always stayed clear of arguments while he's deployed so that we both feel good about each other when our conversations are over. So.....can anyone explain why this happen to me or is anyone in the same predicament?
December 9, 2010 - 11:35amThis Comment
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