A Psychology Today article mentions four aspects of forgiveness, which I found helpful:
1) a desire for revenge
2) letting go of anger
3) a wish to move on with your life
4) a desire for reconciliation with your offender
I thought this was wonderful news, as we are berating ourselves for a seemingly negative behavior (not forgiving), perhaps we are forgiving when we look this from a different perspective: forgiving includes smaller, most likely "doable" changes in our attitudes/thoughts/feelings.
Perhaps we are forgiving, as long as we do not have a desire for revenge, are not still angry (side note: studies show, time and time again, pent-up anger can lead to cardiovascular disease, depression, high blood pressure, weakened immune system, etc), and have moved on with our life. I believe these are the most important aspects of forgiveness to try to achieve, and are the best for our health (assuming we are discussing minor offenses; not violence or abuse). The last aspect of forgiveness, having a desire for reconciliation, may not be necessary. You can consider yourself 3/4ths forgiveness-capable. Ha!
Just another way to look at "forgiveness", and perhaps take away some of the guilt: maybe you are already forgiving all you can and all that is really necessary! :-)
Comment Reply
A Psychology Today article mentions four aspects of forgiveness, which I found helpful:
1) a desire for revenge
2) letting go of anger
3) a wish to move on with your life
4) a desire for reconciliation with your offender
I thought this was wonderful news, as we are berating ourselves for a seemingly negative behavior (not forgiving), perhaps we are forgiving when we look this from a different perspective: forgiving includes smaller, most likely "doable" changes in our attitudes/thoughts/feelings.
Perhaps we are forgiving, as long as we do not have a desire for revenge, are not still angry (side note: studies show, time and time again, pent-up anger can lead to cardiovascular disease, depression, high blood pressure, weakened immune system, etc), and have moved on with our life. I believe these are the most important aspects of forgiveness to try to achieve, and are the best for our health (assuming we are discussing minor offenses; not violence or abuse). The last aspect of forgiveness, having a desire for reconciliation, may not be necessary. You can consider yourself 3/4ths forgiveness-capable. Ha!
Just another way to look at "forgiveness", and perhaps take away some of the guilt: maybe you are already forgiving all you can and all that is really necessary! :-)
December 21, 2008 - 7:54pmThis Comment
Reply