I married my husband 2 1/2 years ago after 12 years of friendship and 2 years of dating. He was an amazing, energetic, loving, passionate, adventurous and funny guy. But within months of marriage that disappeared and he becaema sad, sullen, depressed, easily angered person who wanted nothing but to sit on the couch and play video games. Coming home made me angry because I would have to clean up from whatever messes he had made (spending spree, adopting animals) or for what he didn't do (helping out around the house, remembering that my birthday isn't about him). While visiting family he moved out and claims he has no memory of it and wants to come back. I said no. He has MS. We learned today that his pituitary gland is in bad shape and that he has a lesion affecting his executive function. And this won't get better. The rages of anger and violence he has; the rebuffs at attempts to reach him; and the child-like selfishness that were everyday, requiring a world of walking on eggshells around him--none of that will every change and most likely will get worse. I can't imagine his devastation at being 37 and having the more severe cognitive affects of this disease. He can really no longer practice his profession. And I can't really let him move back in even though no one of it his fault. Since he left I am less angry and no longer feel like a stranger in my own home. I feel guilty and want to take care of him, whoever this angry, cruel stranger is. But the man I love is gone. And all my confidantes and doctors tell me that I can't take care of him because he will no longer be my spouse but my charge. I have to get his family involved. And I do feel guilty. But I cannot go back to the way things were. It is good to know that others have been in the situation.
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I married my husband 2 1/2 years ago after 12 years of friendship and 2 years of dating. He was an amazing, energetic, loving, passionate, adventurous and funny guy. But within months of marriage that disappeared and he becaema sad, sullen, depressed, easily angered person who wanted nothing but to sit on the couch and play video games. Coming home made me angry because I would have to clean up from whatever messes he had made (spending spree, adopting animals) or for what he didn't do (helping out around the house, remembering that my birthday isn't about him). While visiting family he moved out and claims he has no memory of it and wants to come back. I said no. He has MS. We learned today that his pituitary gland is in bad shape and that he has a lesion affecting his executive function. And this won't get better. The rages of anger and violence he has; the rebuffs at attempts to reach him; and the child-like selfishness that were everyday, requiring a world of walking on eggshells around him--none of that will every change and most likely will get worse. I can't imagine his devastation at being 37 and having the more severe cognitive affects of this disease. He can really no longer practice his profession. And I can't really let him move back in even though no one of it his fault. Since he left I am less angry and no longer feel like a stranger in my own home. I feel guilty and want to take care of him, whoever this angry, cruel stranger is. But the man I love is gone. And all my confidantes and doctors tell me that I can't take care of him because he will no longer be my spouse but my charge. I have to get his family involved. And I do feel guilty. But I cannot go back to the way things were. It is good to know that others have been in the situation.
January 19, 2013 - 2:12amThis Comment
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