I was with my partner for 12 years. We met when I was 19 and he was 22. He was a normal, healthy, strong man who was my best friend. We had our ups and downs but we were happy and madly in love and ended up having a child together. Life was good until he began to lie and steal from my friends and family and even his own family. He never cheated on me and never would have, he loved me with all of his heart and I loved him but found myself losing respect for him and falling out of love with him due to all of the lies. I wanted to leave at this point but he ended up falling ill and was diagnosed with coeliac and then pulmonary embolisms. He couldn't work so I ended up supporting the three of us but the lies continued, not only that but our sex life was non existent (it had never been that great). A few years went by and he had surgery to remove most of his small bowel (it had been damaged by blood clots restricting his blood flow) and seemed to be on the mend, he was also awaiting surgery to remove the clotted tissue from both lungs. I left him a few months before that happened (I had left him a few times in recent years but always went back because he was ill and I felt guilty for leaving. After all, I loved him, I just wasn't "in love" with him. I was his whole world and he reminded me of that constantly). I met someone soon after we separated and he couldn't come to terms with it. 3 months after I left he passed away, leaving our 8yo daughter without her beloved father. I often ask myself if he'd still be here if I hadn't left but I think it was just his time. I think you need to ask yourself if you could live with yourself if this happened to you. My life is a daily struggle and I have so much guilt for not being there for him, even though I was unhappy and wanted to leave before he became sick.
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I was with my partner for 12 years. We met when I was 19 and he was 22. He was a normal, healthy, strong man who was my best friend. We had our ups and downs but we were happy and madly in love and ended up having a child together. Life was good until he began to lie and steal from my friends and family and even his own family. He never cheated on me and never would have, he loved me with all of his heart and I loved him but found myself losing respect for him and falling out of love with him due to all of the lies. I wanted to leave at this point but he ended up falling ill and was diagnosed with coeliac and then pulmonary embolisms. He couldn't work so I ended up supporting the three of us but the lies continued, not only that but our sex life was non existent (it had never been that great). A few years went by and he had surgery to remove most of his small bowel (it had been damaged by blood clots restricting his blood flow) and seemed to be on the mend, he was also awaiting surgery to remove the clotted tissue from both lungs. I left him a few months before that happened (I had left him a few times in recent years but always went back because he was ill and I felt guilty for leaving. After all, I loved him, I just wasn't "in love" with him. I was his whole world and he reminded me of that constantly). I met someone soon after we separated and he couldn't come to terms with it. 3 months after I left he passed away, leaving our 8yo daughter without her beloved father. I often ask myself if he'd still be here if I hadn't left but I think it was just his time. I think you need to ask yourself if you could live with yourself if this happened to you. My life is a daily struggle and I have so much guilt for not being there for him, even though I was unhappy and wanted to leave before he became sick.
June 7, 2014 - 9:28amThis Comment
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