Thank you so much for writing this. I just left my fiancee of 5 years in April and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We were on the verge if a break up 1.5 years ago as I was sick and tired of deception and just really wasn't in love with him like once had been. He was a "decent" father a "decent" partner but everything was about him all the time, he never did anything with me (without pulling teeth) and it got old fast. The reason I stayed with him was bc we had a young child together and I was mostly comfortable even though I was not happy. Then at that time right after Christmas he was diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer that had spread throughout his abdomen. This in some ways brought us closer together and in other ways ripped us apart. I stayed by his side through 31 chemo treatments, multiple long hospital admissions and surgeries while I worked full time as the only income, finished my undergrad and cared for him and our 2 y/o at the time. He seemed to make his way to recovery and I started to notice that he really was not trying to help himself- he didnt take his meds properly, he barely moved from the couch(part was depression), he was abusing his prescriptions, smoking weed all day(pissed me off), went back to smoking cigs, I would go days without even talking to him and he not talking to his son, he was mean and I felt unloved and used and it got so frustrating and I was getting more and more angry as the days went on and it was effecting my parenting and life . I told him I was leaving him. He didn't seem upset by this. I waited nearly 1 month for some reaction some plead, anything and I got NOTHING. So I took our son and left him.I told him I wanted him to get help I would go to counseling with him as a family to try and save our relationship. Not a day goes by I do not cry bc im not there to care for him. But I know this is for the better for me. He has not made contact with his son in 2.5 months and i'm very afraid he is going to die and I am not going to be able to live with myself. I'm so angry at him for ignoring his child that it turns my insides and makes me want to explode. It is a terrible thing to live with I just do not know what do to. I have tried to reach out and have gotten nothing and I hurt so bad for my son as he doesn't even ask about him anymore. He has set up outpatient counseling services and drug services I just hope he sticks with it and can be a part of our child's life as he has been given a second chance at life. Thank you for posting, just knowing someone else has experienced something similar makes me feel a little better. I, just as you wanted to leave before the illness struck but things didn't work that way and I guess we will have to live with it.
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Thank you so much for writing this. I just left my fiancee of 5 years in April and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We were on the verge if a break up 1.5 years ago as I was sick and tired of deception and just really wasn't in love with him like once had been. He was a "decent" father a "decent" partner but everything was about him all the time, he never did anything with me (without pulling teeth) and it got old fast. The reason I stayed with him was bc we had a young child together and I was mostly comfortable even though I was not happy. Then at that time right after Christmas he was diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer that had spread throughout his abdomen. This in some ways brought us closer together and in other ways ripped us apart. I stayed by his side through 31 chemo treatments, multiple long hospital admissions and surgeries while I worked full time as the only income, finished my undergrad and cared for him and our 2 y/o at the time. He seemed to make his way to recovery and I started to notice that he really was not trying to help himself- he didnt take his meds properly, he barely moved from the couch(part was depression), he was abusing his prescriptions, smoking weed all day(pissed me off), went back to smoking cigs, I would go days without even talking to him and he not talking to his son, he was mean and I felt unloved and used and it got so frustrating and I was getting more and more angry as the days went on and it was effecting my parenting and life . I told him I was leaving him. He didn't seem upset by this. I waited nearly 1 month for some reaction some plead, anything and I got NOTHING. So I took our son and left him.I told him I wanted him to get help I would go to counseling with him as a family to try and save our relationship. Not a day goes by I do not cry bc im not there to care for him. But I know this is for the better for me. He has not made contact with his son in 2.5 months and i'm very afraid he is going to die and I am not going to be able to live with myself. I'm so angry at him for ignoring his child that it turns my insides and makes me want to explode. It is a terrible thing to live with I just do not know what do to. I have tried to reach out and have gotten nothing and I hurt so bad for my son as he doesn't even ask about him anymore. He has set up outpatient counseling services and drug services I just hope he sticks with it and can be a part of our child's life as he has been given a second chance at life. Thank you for posting, just knowing someone else has experienced something similar makes me feel a little better. I, just as you wanted to leave before the illness struck but things didn't work that way and I guess we will have to live with it.
June 8, 2014 - 6:47pmThis Comment
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