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I decided to stay after all and try once again. My partner and I have spoke for hours and decided to try and find out if there is any help for us out there. We will start with partners nurse to see if she can point us in right direction. I just couldn't go through with it, seeing the hurt on his face was killing me. I hope I have made the right decision but we both agree if it foes not work this time we will end it. So I'm afraid I can't give advice on leaving as I did not manage to go through with it.