I am. You are not alone in your feelings. I had my 40 y/o husband served with divorce papers a week or so before he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in April 2008. I made the decision to stay to help him make happy memories with our boys (3 & 10); however, we are in the same place as you as far as the no working, mean and angry, pretty much only talks to me to let me know about when/where/how he threw up or to tell me what I need to do or what I have done wrong, I work over 40 hours a week and just took on a Saturday job, no intimacy AT ALL, he does not one single thing to help with the house or kids, etc. Just because someone gets sick or has declining health doesn't mean they are just going to change into a nice person. My husband's prognosis was about one year, with chemo. We are approaching the year point and school will be ending again in May and if he were to somehow make this miraculous recovery and had several years left I WOULD LEAVE NOW. When your own emotional and mental (and often physical) health are compromised you cannot take care of yourself (or your children, if you have them). It is a sad thing, but you can't allow someone to bring you down. Because of this experience I doubt that I will ever be in a serious relationship with a man ever again because I would never want to be a caregiver ever ever again - it is truly no way to live.
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I am. You are not alone in your feelings. I had my 40 y/o husband served with divorce papers a week or so before he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in April 2008. I made the decision to stay to help him make happy memories with our boys (3 & 10); however, we are in the same place as you as far as the no working, mean and angry, pretty much only talks to me to let me know about when/where/how he threw up or to tell me what I need to do or what I have done wrong, I work over 40 hours a week and just took on a Saturday job, no intimacy AT ALL, he does not one single thing to help with the house or kids, etc. Just because someone gets sick or has declining health doesn't mean they are just going to change into a nice person. My husband's prognosis was about one year, with chemo. We are approaching the year point and school will be ending again in May and if he were to somehow make this miraculous recovery and had several years left I WOULD LEAVE NOW. When your own emotional and mental (and often physical) health are compromised you cannot take care of yourself (or your children, if you have them). It is a sad thing, but you can't allow someone to bring you down. Because of this experience I doubt that I will ever be in a serious relationship with a man ever again because I would never want to be a caregiver ever ever again - it is truly no way to live.
February 9, 2009 - 11:14amThis Comment
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