I read your story and you are me we are the same age. I married my husband knowing that he had MS. I thought we would be the ones that would not really be affect by MS, reading your story is the same, over the years I had to give up the man I loved, say good bye to a life that I wanted. You are right when you say the physical limitations are one thing the mental emotional changes are the hard ones. As a spouse a friend a wife, mom or dad we cannot change the course of the illness we cannot be responsible for what the disease has taken away. You need to do what is the best for you. We are small group of married people who have lived hell, who have had people pass judgment, give advice (me included) but it is one thing to look at a road map it is another to navigate that space.
I know for my self if I stayed with him the illness would have consumed me as well. It has been hard I feel guilt shame I feel horrible for him, but staying with him would not change the course of the disease. I always thought I could make his happiness but I can’t, I can only make mine. So my advice is this you need to think about your self and what you want, there is no right or wrong good bad moral immoral sometimes to save the things that are most precious we need to let go, love dose not last forever but bitterness and resentment does. Do what feels right to you be truthful to your self and that can never be wrong. You make the situation work for you what ever that means you need to live, you need to live in order to be there for your husband in whatever capacity that is married or unmarried, you owe it to your self to your husband to live the life that you are given, you can’t live for his.
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I read your story and you are me we are the same age. I married my husband knowing that he had MS. I thought we would be the ones that would not really be affect by MS, reading your story is the same, over the years I had to give up the man I loved, say good bye to a life that I wanted. You are right when you say the physical limitations are one thing the mental emotional changes are the hard ones. As a spouse a friend a wife, mom or dad we cannot change the course of the illness we cannot be responsible for what the disease has taken away. You need to do what is the best for you. We are small group of married people who have lived hell, who have had people pass judgment, give advice (me included) but it is one thing to look at a road map it is another to navigate that space.
February 9, 2009 - 8:16pmI know for my self if I stayed with him the illness would have consumed me as well. It has been hard I feel guilt shame I feel horrible for him, but staying with him would not change the course of the disease. I always thought I could make his happiness but I can’t, I can only make mine. So my advice is this you need to think about your self and what you want, there is no right or wrong good bad moral immoral sometimes to save the things that are most precious we need to let go, love dose not last forever but bitterness and resentment does. Do what feels right to you be truthful to your self and that can never be wrong. You make the situation work for you what ever that means you need to live, you need to live in order to be there for your husband in whatever capacity that is married or unmarried, you owe it to your self to your husband to live the life that you are given, you can’t live for his.
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