I am going through a rough time now to similar to many others on here. I am married 31 years today, I am 52 and my husband is 55. He is a diabetic and has been for years. He was also diagnosed with copd 7-8 years ago. He was and still is a heavy smoker and over weight. I am a social smoker (which isn't good either) and too am over weight. In 2011 he had an accident at work and tore his rotor cuff very badly had surgery and was going to be limited and in therapy for about 9 months. He went back to work after a couple weeks doing light duty in the office(he was a semi truck driver). About 2 months into light duty he had a pulmonary embolism, which damn near killed him. Needless to say he is no longer able to work based mainly on the copd. He is not on oxygen yet. He has severe neuropathy in his feet and I believe it is starting up his legs. He doesn't do a whole lot. He moans and groans all the time and complains about his pain. Now about 4 weeks ago somehow he hurt his back and has a pinched nerve and is in physical therapy. I feel like it never ends. He is getting disabilty and I work full time but its not enough. He doesn't talk about finances too much, well he doesn't talk too much unless it's about his ailments. We have 2 children, my son is 25 and is out of the home, but my daughter is almost 19 and I think she is pretty much done with her dad. They don't even speak and I blame him. He is either glued to the tv or playing texas holdem on his cell phone. He does help with my mom. She is 85 and we recently took her car from her so he takes her to dr. appts. and gets her groceries every week but other than that he doesn't do much. We have never had a great marriage and several times over the years during a fight I would say I want a divorce but he never took me seriously. I want one now very badly but neither of us can afford to live on our own. I haven't even told me but I am sure he knows I am not happy. I recently moved out of our bedroom but used his back issue as the excuse. We haven't had intercourse in so many years I can't even remember. I remember him telling me once that I was too fat to make it work. He is 6'1" and I have 5'1" and I would have to say back then we were equally over weight. That hurt! He has hurt me many times with words always referring to my weight. Yet know he has gained so much weight he can't even put his own socks on anymore and I have actually lost a few pounds (just a few really like 10) better than gaining! I have no one to talk to about this. My best friend is almost a functioning alcoholic and my only sister has health issues herself. It doesn't help us having best friends that like to drink alot. We too enjoy drinking but only once a week if that and we both know that's too much for us. But by the end of the week I am ready to get lost in a few drinks. Sad to say because I do love him I just don't like him a whole lot and am not in love with him but I feel like he won't be around for too many more years. I am sorry for going on and on but I am hoping this will help me to be patient.
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I am going through a rough time now to similar to many others on here. I am married 31 years today, I am 52 and my husband is 55. He is a diabetic and has been for years. He was also diagnosed with copd 7-8 years ago. He was and still is a heavy smoker and over weight. I am a social smoker (which isn't good either) and too am over weight. In 2011 he had an accident at work and tore his rotor cuff very badly had surgery and was going to be limited and in therapy for about 9 months. He went back to work after a couple weeks doing light duty in the office(he was a semi truck driver). About 2 months into light duty he had a pulmonary embolism, which damn near killed him. Needless to say he is no longer able to work based mainly on the copd. He is not on oxygen yet. He has severe neuropathy in his feet and I believe it is starting up his legs. He doesn't do a whole lot. He moans and groans all the time and complains about his pain. Now about 4 weeks ago somehow he hurt his back and has a pinched nerve and is in physical therapy. I feel like it never ends. He is getting disabilty and I work full time but its not enough. He doesn't talk about finances too much, well he doesn't talk too much unless it's about his ailments. We have 2 children, my son is 25 and is out of the home, but my daughter is almost 19 and I think she is pretty much done with her dad. They don't even speak and I blame him. He is either glued to the tv or playing texas holdem on his cell phone. He does help with my mom. She is 85 and we recently took her car from her so he takes her to dr. appts. and gets her groceries every week but other than that he doesn't do much. We have never had a great marriage and several times over the years during a fight I would say I want a divorce but he never took me seriously. I want one now very badly but neither of us can afford to live on our own. I haven't even told me but I am sure he knows I am not happy. I recently moved out of our bedroom but used his back issue as the excuse. We haven't had intercourse in so many years I can't even remember. I remember him telling me once that I was too fat to make it work. He is 6'1" and I have 5'1" and I would have to say back then we were equally over weight. That hurt! He has hurt me many times with words always referring to my weight. Yet know he has gained so much weight he can't even put his own socks on anymore and I have actually lost a few pounds (just a few really like 10) better than gaining! I have no one to talk to about this. My best friend is almost a functioning alcoholic and my only sister has health issues herself. It doesn't help us having best friends that like to drink alot. We too enjoy drinking but only once a week if that and we both know that's too much for us. But by the end of the week I am ready to get lost in a few drinks. Sad to say because I do love him I just don't like him a whole lot and am not in love with him but I feel like he won't be around for too many more years. I am sorry for going on and on but I am hoping this will help me to be patient.
March 17, 2015 - 8:58amThis Comment
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