I am sorry you have go through this. We can wait until things become totally unbearable or fall apart before we address them. Couples counseling with your pastoral services or a professional might have helped you both from becoming so codependent.
Telling him you could no longer live with things how they were, might have been more useful to you both than that you can no longer live with him...unless that is totally true...But that IS what you asked for even if you did not prepare yourself for it... If I understand you correctly...you did not ask him to change specific behaviors that have taken the place of understanding, appreciation and cooperation. And you did not plan for your financial self if the change did not happen... So now you are reeling. But I supoort you in no longer taking abuse especially while you have been care-giving. He might not come back so prepare yourself for the lifestyle change. If he contacts you explain you could not go on as it was but would be open to real negotiations...and will probably will need a third party and time to change the entrenched patterns. Now it's up to you...no more blame...just constructive action. I dont believe you should be shamed for taking a stand though...how ever ill thought through. Sue Sita
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I am sorry you have go through this. We can wait until things become totally unbearable or fall apart before we address them. Couples counseling with your pastoral services or a professional might have helped you both from becoming so codependent.
Telling him you could no longer live with things how they were, might have been more useful to you both than that you can no longer live with him...unless that is totally true...But that IS what you asked for even if you did not prepare yourself for it... If I understand you correctly...you did not ask him to change specific behaviors that have taken the place of understanding, appreciation and cooperation. And you did not plan for your financial self if the change did not happen... So now you are reeling. But I supoort you in no longer taking abuse especially while you have been care-giving. He might not come back so prepare yourself for the lifestyle change. If he contacts you explain you could not go on as it was but would be open to real negotiations...and will probably will need a third party and time to change the entrenched patterns. Now it's up to you...no more blame...just constructive action. I dont believe you should be shamed for taking a stand though...how ever ill thought through. Sue Sita
March 23, 2015 - 10:12pmThis Comment
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