4 and a half years ago I fell into a deep depression ( childhood abuse that I thought was dealt withhit me like a ton of bricks). Then about a year later found flirty emails with the last one inviting him to goto a concert in an American city (we live in Canada). She professed it was a joke...apparently she has a very bad sense of humour. At that point i went a little ballistic and attempted suicide. Back into depression yeehaw. Through all that i never stopped being appreciative, loving and affectionate to my wife. I had bad times where I was/am grumpy, I would sometimes swear in front of the kids. To be honest I didn't even realize alot of the things I was doing until she said something over a year later. So I had finally got out of that funk and rid myself of the antidepressants (worst stuff in the world) and within a few months I get a blood clot that kills a portion of my kidney and had a bout with some kidney stones in the other kidney (I get them ever few years or so, basket extraction no big deal) problem is the pain still hasn't gone away...it's been a year and a half since then. Now I can't work, I can't do many of the things I enjoyed, sex is painful and 8 months ago my wife tells me she no longer loves me. We have stayed together for the sake of the kids ( and finances, with only 60% of my income money is really tight. I still want the best for my kids and the only way that can happen is with combined income) but it is tough. I try my best to keep things light, but it hurts so much all the time...medication dulls it a bit but of course the side effects. I know this has been hard on her but through everything she has never been in the least bit compassionate and now since she no longer loves me ...well actually it's not much different except now instead of me having to beg for sex there just isn't any. The story of why or even when she fell out of love keeps changing, we barely talk. If I could afford it I would leave, it would break my heart not only for her but my kids omg I can't imagine this. I don't understand how someone can be soooooo heartless. This is so unfathomable to me. So here I sit in chronic pain, clinically depressed, and trying to find a reason to live everyday and my so called wife has become unrecognizable. I understand wanting to leave an abusive situation...I lived it, and you should leave in that situation. I just want you to understand, yes we are grumpy sometimes and yes we are "out of it" due to medications alot of the time, but at least in my case just letting us know we are being mean and grumpy can make a difference and just because I'm ill does not mean I don't need affection. I have actually had to tell people that it's not contagious. I don't need a nurse maid, I need a wife, with perhaps a little nurse maid thrown in. OK I'm starting to jump all over the place and lose my point due to medication kicking in so I'll sign off
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4 and a half years ago I fell into a deep depression ( childhood abuse that I thought was dealt withhit me like a ton of bricks). Then about a year later found flirty emails with the last one inviting him to goto a concert in an American city (we live in Canada). She professed it was a joke...apparently she has a very bad sense of humour. At that point i went a little ballistic and attempted suicide. Back into depression yeehaw. Through all that i never stopped being appreciative, loving and affectionate to my wife. I had bad times where I was/am grumpy, I would sometimes swear in front of the kids. To be honest I didn't even realize alot of the things I was doing until she said something over a year later. So I had finally got out of that funk and rid myself of the antidepressants (worst stuff in the world) and within a few months I get a blood clot that kills a portion of my kidney and had a bout with some kidney stones in the other kidney (I get them ever few years or so, basket extraction no big deal) problem is the pain still hasn't gone away...it's been a year and a half since then. Now I can't work, I can't do many of the things I enjoyed, sex is painful and 8 months ago my wife tells me she no longer loves me. We have stayed together for the sake of the kids ( and finances, with only 60% of my income money is really tight. I still want the best for my kids and the only way that can happen is with combined income) but it is tough. I try my best to keep things light, but it hurts so much all the time...medication dulls it a bit but of course the side effects. I know this has been hard on her but through everything she has never been in the least bit compassionate and now since she no longer loves me ...well actually it's not much different except now instead of me having to beg for sex there just isn't any. The story of why or even when she fell out of love keeps changing, we barely talk. If I could afford it I would leave, it would break my heart not only for her but my kids omg I can't imagine this. I don't understand how someone can be soooooo heartless. This is so unfathomable to me. So here I sit in chronic pain, clinically depressed, and trying to find a reason to live everyday and my so called wife has become unrecognizable. I understand wanting to leave an abusive situation...I lived it, and you should leave in that situation. I just want you to understand, yes we are grumpy sometimes and yes we are "out of it" due to medications alot of the time, but at least in my case just letting us know we are being mean and grumpy can make a difference and just because I'm ill does not mean I don't need affection. I have actually had to tell people that it's not contagious. I don't need a nurse maid, I need a wife, with perhaps a little nurse maid thrown in. OK I'm starting to jump all over the place and lose my point due to medication kicking in so I'll sign off
June 24, 2015 - 1:57amThis Comment
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