I can so relate to your post. My husband has a Traumatic Brain Injury that keeps getting worse. He's finally found great doctors but we haven't had sex in months, and his TBI has caused other health issues. He's gained over two hundred pounds since 2008 and frankly, even on the rare occasions we're intimate, it's not satisfying. We're physically incompatible. He went through the anger and it's better, but I feel like I have to hide from him a lot when it flares up. I drank a lot for a couple years, trying to cope with my feelings, and at the end, I attempted suicide. I've gone through extensive therapy, stopped running away from my life, and things are better. Except for our sex life. I try to suppress my needs and don't pressure him anymore, but sometimes it just blows up and I let all the pent up feelings of rejection out and attack him with how miserable I am. Not productive or helpful, but we're all imperfect. Therapy helps a lot. I know how hard it is. Suicidal thoughts still come from time to time. Please don't give up your life, though. I am an artist, and did no art for !any years, dealing with him. I leaned that it made things worse. Even if you have to hire a caretaker for a nour a week, find something ALL your own to do that makes you feel normal. I'm back to doing art almost every day and it has completely completely changed things. Heck, even he is happier seeing me happy. Even if illness changes them, there's hopefully a spark of who you married in there. Beat wishes.
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I can so relate to your post. My husband has a Traumatic Brain Injury that keeps getting worse. He's finally found great doctors but we haven't had sex in months, and his TBI has caused other health issues. He's gained over two hundred pounds since 2008 and frankly, even on the rare occasions we're intimate, it's not satisfying. We're physically incompatible. He went through the anger and it's better, but I feel like I have to hide from him a lot when it flares up. I drank a lot for a couple years, trying to cope with my feelings, and at the end, I attempted suicide. I've gone through extensive therapy, stopped running away from my life, and things are better. Except for our sex life. I try to suppress my needs and don't pressure him anymore, but sometimes it just blows up and I let all the pent up feelings of rejection out and attack him with how miserable I am. Not productive or helpful, but we're all imperfect. Therapy helps a lot. I know how hard it is. Suicidal thoughts still come from time to time. Please don't give up your life, though. I am an artist, and did no art for !any years, dealing with him. I leaned that it made things worse. Even if you have to hire a caretaker for a nour a week, find something ALL your own to do that makes you feel normal. I'm back to doing art almost every day and it has completely completely changed things. Heck, even he is happier seeing me happy. Even if illness changes them, there's hopefully a spark of who you married in there. Beat wishes.
July 20, 2015 - 8:08amThis Comment
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