I too am 37. In 2012 my Husband of 10 years was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy with advanced heart failure. Our marriage had become strained leading up to his diagnosis, his moods had changed, he started gaining weight, and his libido had dropped. After the diagnosis he became very depressed and was in denial about his health. I started to resent him a lot. As he got sicker his personality changed more. He was no longer the giant teddy bear I married, he was more like an angry Grizzly. I started to consider divorcing him because he was making the kids and I miserable. The day we found out that he would need major heart surgery to bridge him to transplant I told him I was considering divorce because it was really becoming too much for us. I told him that he had to quit work, get on Social Security, and do what the doctors ask. I expressed to him how his behavior was effecting the rest of us. Some may of thought it was insensitive, but he understood and did his best to change. We stayed together and I saw him through the surgery, rehab, multiple hospital stays, and additional surgeries that led to a 3 month stay in the hospital during the 2015 holidays. I stayed as the surgeries failed, I stayed as multiple organs failed, I stayed until he quietly slipped into a coma on 1/30/2016, and I stayed until he peacefully passed away at 42 years old, from a terrible, incurable brain bleed. The point that I am making is that my husband was my best friend. I loved him with all my heart. I realize now after losing him just 5 short weeks ago, that the only reason that I wanted to leave him was because I did not think that I was strong enough to watch him go through everything that I knew that he was going to go through. I knew from the beginning that he only had a 40% chance of survival and those odds went down every year that he did not receive a new heart. I am so grateful that I was able to spend those last couple of years with my best friend. We had more bad days then good, but I focused all my energy into the good days.
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I too am 37. In 2012 my Husband of 10 years was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy with advanced heart failure. Our marriage had become strained leading up to his diagnosis, his moods had changed, he started gaining weight, and his libido had dropped. After the diagnosis he became very depressed and was in denial about his health. I started to resent him a lot. As he got sicker his personality changed more. He was no longer the giant teddy bear I married, he was more like an angry Grizzly. I started to consider divorcing him because he was making the kids and I miserable. The day we found out that he would need major heart surgery to bridge him to transplant I told him I was considering divorce because it was really becoming too much for us. I told him that he had to quit work, get on Social Security, and do what the doctors ask. I expressed to him how his behavior was effecting the rest of us. Some may of thought it was insensitive, but he understood and did his best to change. We stayed together and I saw him through the surgery, rehab, multiple hospital stays, and additional surgeries that led to a 3 month stay in the hospital during the 2015 holidays. I stayed as the surgeries failed, I stayed as multiple organs failed, I stayed until he quietly slipped into a coma on 1/30/2016, and I stayed until he peacefully passed away at 42 years old, from a terrible, incurable brain bleed. The point that I am making is that my husband was my best friend. I loved him with all my heart. I realize now after losing him just 5 short weeks ago, that the only reason that I wanted to leave him was because I did not think that I was strong enough to watch him go through everything that I knew that he was going to go through. I knew from the beginning that he only had a 40% chance of survival and those odds went down every year that he did not receive a new heart. I am so grateful that I was able to spend those last couple of years with my best friend. We had more bad days then good, but I focused all my energy into the good days.
March 4, 2016 - 10:43amThis Comment
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