It is such an unfortunate situation for you both - starting out with a hopeful future only for it to be dashed. It is very difficult to accept this disease and it sounds like your husband is struggling to do so and is depressed. He may benefit from counselling as well as anti depressants to help him get through for now. My husband refused to accept it at the beginning. It was like a hot ball that he kept throwing at me and I kept throwing it right back. I used to attend MS meetings and go to social MS evenings but he wouldn't come as he was frightened of what the future may hold. I must admit I was shocked at what the future may hold when I saw others whose MS had advanced quickly. My husband also refused to take care of himself - wouldn't wear a coat in winter, wouldn't eat regularly or healthy meals when not with me - basically he acted like a child and he wanted me to be his Mum. I didn't sign up for that. I eventually left as my daughter became mentally unstable due to the dreadful atmosphere between us and because of how much he had changed. It is so much better now that we are in separate houses. We are still married (minus the intimate side) but the difference is that the respect is slowly but surely coming back into the relationship. I feel for your situation as you still love each other deeply and it is heart breaking that you want a loving relationship and he doesn't which is very difficult. I hope that you can get some help for you too as it sounds like you could do with someone to talk to. It can be very isolating as a carer of someone with MS and you can feel very alone. If you are in it for the long haul, you will have to put things in place for the future - carers to come in and help him while you go to work (it is very important that you do not give up your career as this will get you through). The MS Society can help you with information regarding this. Please don't suffer on your own. Take care,
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It is such an unfortunate situation for you both - starting out with a hopeful future only for it to be dashed. It is very difficult to accept this disease and it sounds like your husband is struggling to do so and is depressed. He may benefit from counselling as well as anti depressants to help him get through for now. My husband refused to accept it at the beginning. It was like a hot ball that he kept throwing at me and I kept throwing it right back. I used to attend MS meetings and go to social MS evenings but he wouldn't come as he was frightened of what the future may hold. I must admit I was shocked at what the future may hold when I saw others whose MS had advanced quickly. My husband also refused to take care of himself - wouldn't wear a coat in winter, wouldn't eat regularly or healthy meals when not with me - basically he acted like a child and he wanted me to be his Mum. I didn't sign up for that. I eventually left as my daughter became mentally unstable due to the dreadful atmosphere between us and because of how much he had changed. It is so much better now that we are in separate houses. We are still married (minus the intimate side) but the difference is that the respect is slowly but surely coming back into the relationship. I feel for your situation as you still love each other deeply and it is heart breaking that you want a loving relationship and he doesn't which is very difficult. I hope that you can get some help for you too as it sounds like you could do with someone to talk to. It can be very isolating as a carer of someone with MS and you can feel very alone. If you are in it for the long haul, you will have to put things in place for the future - carers to come in and help him while you go to work (it is very important that you do not give up your career as this will get you through). The MS Society can help you with information regarding this. Please don't suffer on your own. Take care,
July 16, 2016 - 6:30amThis Comment
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