I have been married for 12 years to a person I thought was perfect for me. We had a great relationship until my second daughter was born. She had "colic" ---gerd, milk protein allergy, etc. She was very difficult to deal with for the first several month, but she is now a wonderful, loving 7 year old! During this time, things went bad with my husband's job and he was taking it out on me and the girls...even the cats. No denying that he was emotionally abusive to me for a LONG time. This started about 4 years into our marriage. He started having trouble with GI issues and ultimately now has Crohns/UC. All of this has changed his personality for the worse. He's pushed me away from him with his behavior and I don't have a desire to get closer. It came out in therapy about 3 years ago that he doesn't respect me and resents me. Everything we talk about is -him-.
We are still together but I think daily about how long I can deal with his behavior with this illness and his job issues. He is literally always complaining about something, and he doesn't deal well with the girls and I fear for their mental health as they grow older.
I am seeing a therapist so I can try to determine what is best for me and the girls. I don't work now and I fear what life as a single mother would be, but when I look at how my girls will most likely benefit---I don't know.
He will start looking for a new job soon and we may be moving somewhere new in a year or two. I really do not want to lose my friends as a support system. There is no guarantee that things will get better if we move, and if they sour (his health, job, our relationship, the girls) I am stuck with no support system.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I've really simplified the story but this is the jist.
Comment Reply
I have been married for 12 years to a person I thought was perfect for me. We had a great relationship until my second daughter was born. She had "colic" ---gerd, milk protein allergy, etc. She was very difficult to deal with for the first several month, but she is now a wonderful, loving 7 year old! During this time, things went bad with my husband's job and he was taking it out on me and the girls...even the cats. No denying that he was emotionally abusive to me for a LONG time. This started about 4 years into our marriage. He started having trouble with GI issues and ultimately now has Crohns/UC. All of this has changed his personality for the worse. He's pushed me away from him with his behavior and I don't have a desire to get closer. It came out in therapy about 3 years ago that he doesn't respect me and resents me. Everything we talk about is -him-.
We are still together but I think daily about how long I can deal with his behavior with this illness and his job issues. He is literally always complaining about something, and he doesn't deal well with the girls and I fear for their mental health as they grow older.
I am seeing a therapist so I can try to determine what is best for me and the girls. I don't work now and I fear what life as a single mother would be, but when I look at how my girls will most likely benefit---I don't know.
He will start looking for a new job soon and we may be moving somewhere new in a year or two. I really do not want to lose my friends as a support system. There is no guarantee that things will get better if we move, and if they sour (his health, job, our relationship, the girls) I am stuck with no support system.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I've really simplified the story but this is the jist.
Thanks
August 8, 2016 - 2:13pmThis Comment
Reply