I'm back. So, I am the young lady who first posted the question that started all of these conversations...Things have not improved in my situation, if anything they have worsened. The emotional abuse has continued and I have finally put my foot down. I left him for a weekend (with my little boy), the only reason that I returned is to work on gathering all of the financial information and because he suddenly was under the impression that he would keep our son for 3-4 nights straight per week. I have met with an attorney, I will be paying him alimony for most likely 3 years to a tune of almost $1000 per month. That will hurt, but I can do it. I never wanted him to suffer anyhow or not be able to afford to survive on his own. I asked him to leave for a separation and he refused. If I am paying him alimony and he is receiving disability, I think that he may be able to afford the house on his own, which means that I will have to find a new home for me and my son. It's so funny though because he HATES everything about this house and tells me almost daily. Why in the world would he want to stay? Makes no sense, except to make it more difficult for me. We can stay with my parents, which will be an inconvenience, but we can. I've continued my sessions with my counselor. I'm working on my feelings of guilt. Of course, since I left he's been on his best behavior and is using terms of endearment when talking to me, but this is nothing new. This is how it works...he snaps at me, screams at me, is passive aggressive, is paranoid when I leave the house, so I can't...then eventually I get pissed and let him know it, so then he kisses my butt for awhile, I walk on eggshells until the next round. This has been going on for years. I don't think that leaving and filing for divorce will be easy, but I need peace in my life and in my son's. I fear that the longer I stay, the more my son will think that it's appropriate to speak to me in the same way and later in life will treat his girlfriend/wife the same. I have to do what is right for me and my son.
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I'm back. So, I am the young lady who first posted the question that started all of these conversations...Things have not improved in my situation, if anything they have worsened. The emotional abuse has continued and I have finally put my foot down. I left him for a weekend (with my little boy), the only reason that I returned is to work on gathering all of the financial information and because he suddenly was under the impression that he would keep our son for 3-4 nights straight per week. I have met with an attorney, I will be paying him alimony for most likely 3 years to a tune of almost $1000 per month. That will hurt, but I can do it. I never wanted him to suffer anyhow or not be able to afford to survive on his own. I asked him to leave for a separation and he refused. If I am paying him alimony and he is receiving disability, I think that he may be able to afford the house on his own, which means that I will have to find a new home for me and my son. It's so funny though because he HATES everything about this house and tells me almost daily. Why in the world would he want to stay? Makes no sense, except to make it more difficult for me. We can stay with my parents, which will be an inconvenience, but we can. I've continued my sessions with my counselor. I'm working on my feelings of guilt. Of course, since I left he's been on his best behavior and is using terms of endearment when talking to me, but this is nothing new. This is how it works...he snaps at me, screams at me, is passive aggressive, is paranoid when I leave the house, so I can't...then eventually I get pissed and let him know it, so then he kisses my butt for awhile, I walk on eggshells until the next round. This has been going on for years. I don't think that leaving and filing for divorce will be easy, but I need peace in my life and in my son's. I fear that the longer I stay, the more my son will think that it's appropriate to speak to me in the same way and later in life will treat his girlfriend/wife the same. I have to do what is right for me and my son.
September 13, 2009 - 3:21amThis Comment
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